Well I guess 2009 is starting off a lot better for some than others. I got a lovely email from #3 telling me he got married today. How sweet. Supposedly he met his new bride in December 2007 and told me about her. I am sure I was really paying attention then. And they got married today. I was going to send him an email of congratulations but then thought why? He is only telling me to poke at me, not because he considers me a friend or someone who would offer him a hearty cheer. He did the same thing when we got married. He immediately sent off an letter to #2 telling him that we got married. He even mailed it from Las Vegas thinking that #2 was smart enough to look at the post mark. It was not because he wanted to share his happy news it was just a sick way of feeling in control. Seriously, why would your tell you ex wife you got remarried when she hates you and you hate her. Oh I forgot, he only wants what is best for me. Him and Jesus.
My only hope is he test drove her first so he does not end up in the same situation he was before. So on that note I will say good luck instead of congratulations.
Today is the last day of 2008. Can you image that 9 years ago people thought our total existence would be destroyed because we were rolling over to a 000 year and they thought computers would crash. Who knew that we would be just fine and that nothing big would happen? Well anyone who had a brain and did not fall for the drama at the time.
As I said last year I do not make New Years Resolutions. I have enough problems I don’t need to set myself up for more disappointment when I do not keep them. But, each year I do like to stop and reflect on the previous year and years before it and think about ways to fix my life or make it better.
For 2008 my only thought was to survive better than I did in 2007 and I was successful in that. 2008 was no where near as bad as 2007, I grew as a person and learned once again how to be my own person and not rely on anyone else. I missed that part of me. I missed the part that knew how to survive and fix the plumbing when I needed to. I had allowed myself to rely on #3 and it backfired on me and I needed to learn once again how to rely on me and only me. I know it sounds harsh and some of you are thinking that it is sad. But for me it is the way I have lived my entire life up until 2000. It was my safety net knowing that I could do just about anything I needed to and it did not require asking a man for advice or help. So I am happy to see the self reliant, dependent Cindy back. I missed her.
For 2009 I want to live my life to the fullest everyday. This means that 2009 is the year of doing nothing. You know how the Chinese have Year of the Dog, Cat, Chicken, Rodent, Bug, Squirrel, etc. Well this is Cindy’s Year of Doing Nothing. This means that I am going to work on not doing anything for people that do not appreciate it or respect me. I started that today by severing the last and final string that attached #3 and me; 2009 will start #3 free. I told my mother that I would not be attending my nephew’s birthday party because it is held at a skating rink and if I did not do that when Joshua was a kid I certainly was not starting now. But, after Christmas I realized that my actions towards my nephews are not appreciated by my sister. It is just expected so this year we will stop that and have a normal aunt/nephew/niece relationship. They are not my children and I do not need to worry about their future or lives. It does no good to do so anyway.
As far as the funeral home goes, I am no longer going to be the go to person when someone wants a day off or calls in sick. Unless I want to work extra I am not, it is not appreciated by the company, but they come to expect me to be available at the drop of a hat and get upset when I am not. I am hoping to that 2009 will be much calmer and sedate than 2008 in 365 days when we revisit this day I am sure I will be telling you how wonderful I did in 2009.
Okay, one can hope.
My co-worker Matt sent me this link when he learned about my love of the The Whale that Exploded. This is a news clip from 1970 when a sperm whale (they said it was a gray whale but it is actually a sperm whale) died after he beached himself. To be far it has to be difficult to decide what to do with a 45 foot 8 ton animal when it dies on your beach. It's not like you can call animal control and they come out with a shovel and scoop it up.
The highway department decided that the best way to remove the animal was with dynamite. Gotta love a man who likes to use dynamite as a solution. They used 1/2 ton of dynamite in the hopes that the whale would explode into small pieces and the birds would eat the little pieces and the problem would be solved. Unfortunately there is this little thing called Murphy's Law and Murphy's Law basically states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
Watch the video and you can see exactly what went wrong. Watch closely at the very beginning and you will see a kid about 8-10 years old that is in the background. You only see him briefly and not again in the video, but knowing that he was there for this monumental event makes me wonder if he was traumatized for life and has an ingrained fear of falling whale blubber.
The highway department decided that the best way to remove the animal was with dynamite. Gotta love a man who likes to use dynamite as a solution. They used 1/2 ton of dynamite in the hopes that the whale would explode into small pieces and the birds would eat the little pieces and the problem would be solved. Unfortunately there is this little thing called Murphy's Law and Murphy's Law basically states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
Watch the video and you can see exactly what went wrong. Watch closely at the very beginning and you will see a kid about 8-10 years old that is in the background. You only see him briefly and not again in the video, but knowing that he was there for this monumental event makes me wonder if he was traumatized for life and has an ingrained fear of falling whale blubber.
I finally have a diagnosis for my constant itching and I am happy to say it is not an allergy to any of my critters. I was really concerned that I was allergic to the piggies or the hammies but I am not.
You may remember that several months ago I broke out and I determined that I was probably allergic to the hay I was feeding the guinea pigs. So we stop the hay, unfortunately the skin problems continued. At the time my neighbors were moving and the conclusion was drawn that there must be some sort of mite that was migrating to my apartment and biting me. But they exterminated and I exterminated and we all lived in a toxic world but the irritation continued.
It went on and on and I was miserable. I could not stop scratching, my arms and legs. It would get better for a day or two and then come back with a vengeance. To top it off, any sort of heat aggravated it horribly. So this meant no hot baths and no hot showers. I would take a cold shower or luke warm bath so as not to start itching. Do you know how miserable it is to take a cold shower in the winter? It is not fun.
One day on the verge of insanity, I drove to my doctors and showed them my arm where I had scratched IN MY SLEEP. I looked like a heroin addict. My arm was covered with scratches. I got in that afternoon. My doctor, Deborah has been my doctor for several years. She is use to me coming in with the oddest problems and having me demand she fix them. So this was really not much different than any time before.
She diagnosed my condition as Neurodermatitis. Yea a name for what was driving me crazy. But what the hell is neurodermatitis? She explained it as best she could without upsetting me because there is basically no cure you can get it under control but it will always be there. Oh boy. She prescribed 2 different antihistamine and more ointment to add to my growing supply.
You may remember that several months ago I broke out and I determined that I was probably allergic to the hay I was feeding the guinea pigs. So we stop the hay, unfortunately the skin problems continued. At the time my neighbors were moving and the conclusion was drawn that there must be some sort of mite that was migrating to my apartment and biting me. But they exterminated and I exterminated and we all lived in a toxic world but the irritation continued.
It went on and on and I was miserable. I could not stop scratching, my arms and legs. It would get better for a day or two and then come back with a vengeance. To top it off, any sort of heat aggravated it horribly. So this meant no hot baths and no hot showers. I would take a cold shower or luke warm bath so as not to start itching. Do you know how miserable it is to take a cold shower in the winter? It is not fun.
One day on the verge of insanity, I drove to my doctors and showed them my arm where I had scratched IN MY SLEEP. I looked like a heroin addict. My arm was covered with scratches. I got in that afternoon. My doctor, Deborah has been my doctor for several years. She is use to me coming in with the oddest problems and having me demand she fix them. So this was really not much different than any time before.
She diagnosed my condition as Neurodermatitis. Yea a name for what was driving me crazy. But what the hell is neurodermatitis? She explained it as best she could without upsetting me because there is basically no cure you can get it under control but it will always be there. Oh boy. She prescribed 2 different antihistamine and more ointment to add to my growing supply.
It is with great sadness that I learned that my step mother Sue passed away unexpectantly on December 15th. I received an email from my father, Bill informing me of her death this morning.
Sue and my father; have been together for 39 years. That is pretty much my entire life. She was one of the kindest people I will ever know. We always had a saying about Sue; she was a person that no one could dislike. She was always smiling when I saw, even when my father was battling Leukemia and she was exhausted. Whenever she saw me walk in the hospital room she would smile and give me a hug. She was always more concerned about everyone around her and how they were doing than for herself. Sue and I spent a lot of time talking during those weeks and months and I felt like I got to know her just a little bit better.
I know for me this is a huge lose of a great person. The world is a little less brighter without her in it. But, I know that where she is now is a good place and it is a brighter place with her in it.
My love goes out to my father, and sister Sara and brother Patrick. I hope they know that their mom was a great lady who with just a smile made someones day much better.
Sue and my father; have been together for 39 years. That is pretty much my entire life. She was one of the kindest people I will ever know. We always had a saying about Sue; she was a person that no one could dislike. She was always smiling when I saw, even when my father was battling Leukemia and she was exhausted. Whenever she saw me walk in the hospital room she would smile and give me a hug. She was always more concerned about everyone around her and how they were doing than for herself. Sue and I spent a lot of time talking during those weeks and months and I felt like I got to know her just a little bit better.
I know for me this is a huge lose of a great person. The world is a little less brighter without her in it. But, I know that where she is now is a good place and it is a brighter place with her in it.
My love goes out to my father, and sister Sara and brother Patrick. I hope they know that their mom was a great lady who with just a smile made someones day much better.
This was the first holiday for all the critters (at least that I know of). I can say they all waited anxiously for Santa to appear and since they are up in the middle of the night Santa came at a different time for them than for the dogs.
Each critter had their own stocking. My entertainment center looked very festive with a stocking for Tau & Kali at each end and in between 9 little stockings for the critters. Each critter got a honey stick from Santa, except Sasha she got a chewy log filled with seeds. She had gnawing issues. They also got new balls to run around in. Everyone got their presents around 12:30 on Christmas morning when they were awake and mom was still baking. Shortly after wards we all went to bed.
Early on Christmas morning...okay it was 11 on Christmas morning but early is different for each person. Tau and Kali were anxiously awaiting their gifts (not really but I like to pretend). They each got toys and cookies and of course Kali confiscated everything for herself. Mommy got a brand new jewelry box from Josh and the kids. Exactly what I wanted and needed since I no longer had one.
Our Christmas dinner was a bit different this year. There was no way any of us could handle another turkey and stuffing. So we went with a traditional New Mexican Christmas dinner with a few little adjustments to the menu. Since Phyllis does not eat pork Eddie made beef tamales from scratch. They were absolutely amazing. I made pinto beans without pork and they were pretty damn good. We had chips and queso, guacamole and more desserts than you can shake a stick at.
We ate and ate and ate then exchanged gifts. With the three of us we are usually all about gifts with meaning and reasons behind them. We try to give things that will help the other person in one way or another and sometimes we give things that are just fun to look at. Either way it is always fun and full of love. This is how we like to spend our holidays, with each other.
Lucky for us and our waistline I am working New Years so we won't be doing dinner but we will ring in the New Year our own way I am sure.
Each critter had their own stocking. My entertainment center looked very festive with a stocking for Tau & Kali at each end and in between 9 little stockings for the critters. Each critter got a honey stick from Santa, except Sasha she got a chewy log filled with seeds. She had gnawing issues. They also got new balls to run around in. Everyone got their presents around 12:30 on Christmas morning when they were awake and mom was still baking. Shortly after wards we all went to bed.
Early on Christmas morning...okay it was 11 on Christmas morning but early is different for each person. Tau and Kali were anxiously awaiting their gifts (not really but I like to pretend). They each got toys and cookies and of course Kali confiscated everything for herself. Mommy got a brand new jewelry box from Josh and the kids. Exactly what I wanted and needed since I no longer had one.
Our Christmas dinner was a bit different this year. There was no way any of us could handle another turkey and stuffing. So we went with a traditional New Mexican Christmas dinner with a few little adjustments to the menu. Since Phyllis does not eat pork Eddie made beef tamales from scratch. They were absolutely amazing. I made pinto beans without pork and they were pretty damn good. We had chips and queso, guacamole and more desserts than you can shake a stick at.
We ate and ate and ate then exchanged gifts. With the three of us we are usually all about gifts with meaning and reasons behind them. We try to give things that will help the other person in one way or another and sometimes we give things that are just fun to look at. Either way it is always fun and full of love. This is how we like to spend our holidays, with each other.
Lucky for us and our waistline I am working New Years so we won't be doing dinner but we will ring in the New Year our own way I am sure.
My one goal for the day is to see if my family will call me. So far they have not. I don't really expect them to, they never have in the past. My mother calls me but no one else does. I get calls when they want something or need something, or they are thinking about a vacation and want a free place to stay.
This is one of the main reasons I hate holidays. Holidays are all about family and I really never felt like I had much of one. I have always been more of the black sheep of the family and never felt completely at home around them. Even when I go home I am always reminded that I no longer fit into that world anymore. My family that lives in Florida won't even see me if I go there. They are more interested in my brothers than me. My mothers family has never known us, we only visited them and that was it. There is no reason for them to want to know us. My father and his family have never been in our lives. They were just a stop over when we went to Florida. The only family I really have are my mom, daddy, brother, sister, nephews and niece. I don't have cousins that people talk about, I don't have aunts and uncles that we visit or that visit us. My grandparents are gone. The most important family member I have is Joshua and he is never far away.
Phyllis came to the conclusion that both her and I married people for their family. Not so much for the man, it was their family we wanted. In my case, I knew #2 and #3's family way before we ever became a couple. I loved both of their families and when the marriages ended I lost both of their families. I can say that #3's sister and I have stayed in contact and I don't expect we will lose contact with each other. We have a lot in common and I love her to death. In many ways she is the big sister I never had and never knew I wanted until I had one.
For some reason I am big on making memories for the kids. Maybe it is because I have so many bad memories that the few good ones I have are more special to me. I always wanted Joshua to have great memories of Christmas and his birthday. I tried very hard to give him traditions to pass on to his children one day. I don't know if that will ever happen, I will have to wait and see.
This year I wanted my nephews and niece to have some traditions. I wanted them to have something that they can look forward to every year. I was hurt and disappointed to find out that my sister does not care if this comes to pass. She only wants to make them happy for the moment and does not look to their future. It made me sad to realize that no matter what I want for others I can't always give it to them. It made me really dislike the holidays and just want them to be over even faster.
I spent several days living with this growing sadness over my gift to my nephews and niece being ruined by my sisters frivolity. So much so that I really regretted not volunteering to work for the holiday. But I still had dinner plans with Phyllis and Eddie and in the end I was able to give some gifts to a family who truly appreciated them. It felt good to hand these small items over to their mother who hugged me and thanked me and I knew in my heart her and her children appreciated the small gesture.
For now I have decided that next year will be different. There will be no attempts to make my families holidays memorable. That is their job and I have learned from the past that what I do give is not appreciated it is expected. Next year will be about those who need help and appreciate it. I will look to give to them instead of those who do not need it. I am not saying I won't buy gifts for my family, I am sure I will. But it will be a simple gift and that is all. It will not be a process that starts in June and has me shopping til the last minute trying to find the perfect thing for them.
I think it is time to start making my own traditions for myself and I think starting in 2009 I will focus on what makes me happy and I will take the dogs and go on a trip for Christmas. We will have to see. I only have one more celebration to get through then I am free and clear until next Thanksgiving.
This is one of the main reasons I hate holidays. Holidays are all about family and I really never felt like I had much of one. I have always been more of the black sheep of the family and never felt completely at home around them. Even when I go home I am always reminded that I no longer fit into that world anymore. My family that lives in Florida won't even see me if I go there. They are more interested in my brothers than me. My mothers family has never known us, we only visited them and that was it. There is no reason for them to want to know us. My father and his family have never been in our lives. They were just a stop over when we went to Florida. The only family I really have are my mom, daddy, brother, sister, nephews and niece. I don't have cousins that people talk about, I don't have aunts and uncles that we visit or that visit us. My grandparents are gone. The most important family member I have is Joshua and he is never far away.
Phyllis came to the conclusion that both her and I married people for their family. Not so much for the man, it was their family we wanted. In my case, I knew #2 and #3's family way before we ever became a couple. I loved both of their families and when the marriages ended I lost both of their families. I can say that #3's sister and I have stayed in contact and I don't expect we will lose contact with each other. We have a lot in common and I love her to death. In many ways she is the big sister I never had and never knew I wanted until I had one.
For some reason I am big on making memories for the kids. Maybe it is because I have so many bad memories that the few good ones I have are more special to me. I always wanted Joshua to have great memories of Christmas and his birthday. I tried very hard to give him traditions to pass on to his children one day. I don't know if that will ever happen, I will have to wait and see.
This year I wanted my nephews and niece to have some traditions. I wanted them to have something that they can look forward to every year. I was hurt and disappointed to find out that my sister does not care if this comes to pass. She only wants to make them happy for the moment and does not look to their future. It made me sad to realize that no matter what I want for others I can't always give it to them. It made me really dislike the holidays and just want them to be over even faster.
I spent several days living with this growing sadness over my gift to my nephews and niece being ruined by my sisters frivolity. So much so that I really regretted not volunteering to work for the holiday. But I still had dinner plans with Phyllis and Eddie and in the end I was able to give some gifts to a family who truly appreciated them. It felt good to hand these small items over to their mother who hugged me and thanked me and I knew in my heart her and her children appreciated the small gesture.
For now I have decided that next year will be different. There will be no attempts to make my families holidays memorable. That is their job and I have learned from the past that what I do give is not appreciated it is expected. Next year will be about those who need help and appreciate it. I will look to give to them instead of those who do not need it. I am not saying I won't buy gifts for my family, I am sure I will. But it will be a simple gift and that is all. It will not be a process that starts in June and has me shopping til the last minute trying to find the perfect thing for them.
I think it is time to start making my own traditions for myself and I think starting in 2009 I will focus on what makes me happy and I will take the dogs and go on a trip for Christmas. We will have to see. I only have one more celebration to get through then I am free and clear until next Thanksgiving.
Today, December 19th is my Mom's 60th Birthday and I am sending out the best birthday wishes because she deserves them. Happy Birthday Mom.
My brother Jeremiah under went major surgery on Monday to help elevate some of his pain due to his Crohn' s Disease . According to my mom he is doing okay and could be out of the hospital next week, but we will have to wait and see. I want to send him lots of love and positive light for a speedy recovery.
Well #3 is certainly not taking my new adventure into astrology with grace and poise. He seems very disturbed and upset. Why? Probably because I am being given the real picture of what was really there in our relationship and what my life is really like and not his Stephen King version. Just for shits and giggles here is his response on why he got together with me:
My advice to him was that you get a dog for loyalty and a traveling companion you don't marry someone. And then in his ever romantic way he compared me to test driving a car. But, in all honesty he was right, I gave more thought to buying a car than marrying him. I guess that is why I have a car and not him. And a hand fasting is a year and a day, but what good would that do if you were happy on day 366 so you made it legitimate and then on day 458 you no longer liked them? The hand fasting does not prevent divorce or prevent one partner going psycho and having a mid life crisis.
Again, another great reminder why I am glad we are over and he is on to looking for his next loyal travel companion. I hope she is smarter than I was.
"If you haven't figured out,...I wanted a relationship with you primarily for your loyalty. I thought we could travel well together (a huge plus)..."
"The lesson? Don't buy a car without a test drive,...and don't get married without a significant try-out. The pagan ritual of a one year handfast before marriage would be wise,...although only the most mature people could probably benefit"
My advice to him was that you get a dog for loyalty and a traveling companion you don't marry someone. And then in his ever romantic way he compared me to test driving a car. But, in all honesty he was right, I gave more thought to buying a car than marrying him. I guess that is why I have a car and not him. And a hand fasting is a year and a day, but what good would that do if you were happy on day 366 so you made it legitimate and then on day 458 you no longer liked them? The hand fasting does not prevent divorce or prevent one partner going psycho and having a mid life crisis.
Again, another great reminder why I am glad we are over and he is on to looking for his next loyal travel companion. I hope she is smarter than I was.
I had my astrology session last night and I have to say I am really enjoying it. I am learning a lot and instead of worrying about the changes that are coming I find that I am getting excited. I really have a "bring it on" attitude.
One of the things that we focused on last night that I really did not want to do was my chart and #3's information. Apparently it is important for me to understand exactly why that relationship did not work out from an astrological point of view so that I know what to look for in the future. I only know his birthday so that does limit our information but there was enough. I could recall a few facts from a previous session we had together, where Bethalya told us something about my south node and his chart. Whatever this information was it really upset him because he did not see it in the charts and in fact refused to believe it until she pointed it out to him.His comment to me afterward was "If I had known that we would never have gotten married." Well that just makes you love them more don't it.
Based on the little information I was able to provide we found several things in his astrology that in know way were compatible with mine. In fact based on our charts there is no way in hell we could even be friends much less partners. I was told that according to his chart it shows him as person who is needing to constantly rebel and someone who is always try to prove something. Mine is just the opposite. I like a calm and sedate life, I go with the flow and the constant upheaval is very upsetting to me. This is very true, #3 has never stayed in one place very long; he likes to move around like a gypsy. Me I like to put down roots and make a home and unless something happens I stay there.
So after we discussed this and we both agreed it was the best thing for me to get out of that relationship we moved on. We looked at my chart and we saw in the chart exactly where I had my breakdown last fall. It also shows that there will be more challenges coming up but we both feel that if I survived the breakdown last year the horrible part is over. The rest is more of a clean up.
Here is where the Ghost and Astrology come together. In approximately September 2009 I get to deal with Chiron which is referred to as the "wounded healer". Chiron is located in my 4th house which represents home. Apparently I will need to deal with old wounds that are affecting my home. Which goes back to my childhood and issues from then. This is exactly what Tim told me a few nights ago, that it was time to start working on old issues and the time that I consider to be a time of innocents. But, since I am working with the astrologer I know that this is coming and I can start working on these issues and preparing for it so that instead of another meltdown I will be able to move through it easier.
It looks as if September and October of 2009 are going to be hectic months full of house cleaning. But I am ready and willing to take it. Because if I don't do it now I get to deal with it again in 14 years only worse. So I say "Let's get on with the show."
With the holidays I won't go again until January 9th, but I have a lot of information to work on and lots of homework to do.
One of the things that we focused on last night that I really did not want to do was my chart and #3's information. Apparently it is important for me to understand exactly why that relationship did not work out from an astrological point of view so that I know what to look for in the future. I only know his birthday so that does limit our information but there was enough. I could recall a few facts from a previous session we had together, where Bethalya told us something about my south node and his chart. Whatever this information was it really upset him because he did not see it in the charts and in fact refused to believe it until she pointed it out to him.His comment to me afterward was "If I had known that we would never have gotten married." Well that just makes you love them more don't it.
Based on the little information I was able to provide we found several things in his astrology that in know way were compatible with mine. In fact based on our charts there is no way in hell we could even be friends much less partners. I was told that according to his chart it shows him as person who is needing to constantly rebel and someone who is always try to prove something. Mine is just the opposite. I like a calm and sedate life, I go with the flow and the constant upheaval is very upsetting to me. This is very true, #3 has never stayed in one place very long; he likes to move around like a gypsy. Me I like to put down roots and make a home and unless something happens I stay there.
So after we discussed this and we both agreed it was the best thing for me to get out of that relationship we moved on. We looked at my chart and we saw in the chart exactly where I had my breakdown last fall. It also shows that there will be more challenges coming up but we both feel that if I survived the breakdown last year the horrible part is over. The rest is more of a clean up.
Here is where the Ghost and Astrology come together. In approximately September 2009 I get to deal with Chiron which is referred to as the "wounded healer". Chiron is located in my 4th house which represents home. Apparently I will need to deal with old wounds that are affecting my home. Which goes back to my childhood and issues from then. This is exactly what Tim told me a few nights ago, that it was time to start working on old issues and the time that I consider to be a time of innocents. But, since I am working with the astrologer I know that this is coming and I can start working on these issues and preparing for it so that instead of another meltdown I will be able to move through it easier.
It looks as if September and October of 2009 are going to be hectic months full of house cleaning. But I am ready and willing to take it. Because if I don't do it now I get to deal with it again in 14 years only worse. So I say "Let's get on with the show."
With the holidays I won't go again until January 9th, but I have a lot of information to work on and lots of homework to do.
I am really really trying to be in the christmas spirit. I have shopped til there is nothing left to buy. I have accepted with grace and dignity that Joshua will not be able to come down for the holiday. Okay maybe not so much grace and dignity as a"Life Sucks" attitude. I even told my step sister Desiree that she could stay in my house if they come out for the holidays. That is true holiday spirit for me. But for the last month there has been nothing but lovey dovey christmas shows on tv and christmas carols on the radio. But the worst are the christmas commercials.
Every commerical is some man try to prove he loves his wife/girlfriend by buying her expensive jewelry. The commercials are so sweet you need a dentist when they are over. One guy finds the perfect christmas tree for his "whatever" because it comes with a gift. Another is washing the yorkie instead of watching the game because there will always be another game. Here is the catch, it is for a jewelry store because "you are not that guy" so just buy jewelry.
Growing up and even in my adult life, I would see these commercials and think "One day I will have a man like that." I will have a man who wants me to have the perfect christmas because every year I try my hardest to have the perfect christmas. Then two things happened: 1) I found men who absolutely hate christmas and want to leave me alone while they either go drink with their buddies (ie: #2) or go to Scottsdale, Arizona to spend the holiday in the warm sun while I stay behind alone working (ie: #3). Yes, these are the men commercials are made of. 2) I realized there is no such thing as the perfect christmas. It is impossible for it to ever happen. The harder you try to worse it is.
I was trying to think last night about when I ever had a really great christmas and I could not remember one. I remember the holidays but there was always something that happened to turn it bad. Someone started fighting, the stress level was too high, my meds were not working properly.
So what does one do when they are alone for the holidays and all the commercials tell you that unless there is a man in your life you will never own expensive jewelry. Hell, I don't know. I just wait until someone comes along that is rich enough to buy me jewelry. I guess we will see. So until then it is back to the horrible commercials, songs and TV shows. Lord help me.
Every commerical is some man try to prove he loves his wife/girlfriend by buying her expensive jewelry. The commercials are so sweet you need a dentist when they are over. One guy finds the perfect christmas tree for his "whatever" because it comes with a gift. Another is washing the yorkie instead of watching the game because there will always be another game. Here is the catch, it is for a jewelry store because "you are not that guy" so just buy jewelry.
Growing up and even in my adult life, I would see these commercials and think "One day I will have a man like that." I will have a man who wants me to have the perfect christmas because every year I try my hardest to have the perfect christmas. Then two things happened: 1) I found men who absolutely hate christmas and want to leave me alone while they either go drink with their buddies (ie: #2) or go to Scottsdale, Arizona to spend the holiday in the warm sun while I stay behind alone working (ie: #3). Yes, these are the men commercials are made of. 2) I realized there is no such thing as the perfect christmas. It is impossible for it to ever happen. The harder you try to worse it is.
I was trying to think last night about when I ever had a really great christmas and I could not remember one. I remember the holidays but there was always something that happened to turn it bad. Someone started fighting, the stress level was too high, my meds were not working properly.
So what does one do when they are alone for the holidays and all the commercials tell you that unless there is a man in your life you will never own expensive jewelry. Hell, I don't know. I just wait until someone comes along that is rich enough to buy me jewelry. I guess we will see. So until then it is back to the horrible commercials, songs and TV shows. Lord help me.
There are several things in this world that entertain me but nothing entertains me more than when good animals go bad. So what is this phenomena? It is when you take a normally nice and calm animal and poke them one to many times and they turn psycho on you and when they turn psycho there is always someone there to film it so people like me can laugh our ass off. So what has me laughing this weekend? National Geographic channel is showing The Whale That Exploded...hold on a second I have to stop laughing AGAIN.
This is a serious documentary on a dead whale that exploded in the middle of a Taiwanese town in 2004 covering the entire area in dead whale parts. Okay, hold on I am laughing again. Okay, I'm good now. Why is this funny? Because for years we have killed thousands of whales; in the name of science, food and worst off entertainment. All whales are on the endangered species list and are therefore protected from killers. The Orca is not a whale but a porpoise but is none the less protected from the entertainment industry (AKA: Sea World) from removing them from the wild. There are several groups that I am a part of that are working everyday to have the orca's that are in captivity released back into the wild. Contrary to popular belief the orca is one of the few animals that can survive in the wild after living in captivity. They can even be reunited with their family pods and will be accepted back. Every country recognizes that the whales are endangered and require protection and they honor this agreement except Japan who still hunts whales today taking thousands every year claiming they are doing it in the name of science. Right!!! There are a few exceptions, such as native Eskimo tribes hunt whales for food. They do not use any high powered harpoons or scientifically engineered ships to hunt them down, they hunt them the way their ancestors have done for centuries. They only hunt what they can eat, not 10,000 whales a season.
So based on the history people killing these amazing and gentle animals and the Japanese who ignore the fact that whales are a dying species and need us to protect them in order for our grand kids to actual know what a whale is. So they deserved Mother Natures cruel little joke. But then again when you are carting a 50 ton dead whale carcass through a town what do you expect?
This is a serious documentary on a dead whale that exploded in the middle of a Taiwanese town in 2004 covering the entire area in dead whale parts. Okay, hold on I am laughing again. Okay, I'm good now. Why is this funny? Because for years we have killed thousands of whales; in the name of science, food and worst off entertainment. All whales are on the endangered species list and are therefore protected from killers. The Orca is not a whale but a porpoise but is none the less protected from the entertainment industry (AKA: Sea World) from removing them from the wild. There are several groups that I am a part of that are working everyday to have the orca's that are in captivity released back into the wild. Contrary to popular belief the orca is one of the few animals that can survive in the wild after living in captivity. They can even be reunited with their family pods and will be accepted back. Every country recognizes that the whales are endangered and require protection and they honor this agreement except Japan who still hunts whales today taking thousands every year claiming they are doing it in the name of science. Right!!! There are a few exceptions, such as native Eskimo tribes hunt whales for food. They do not use any high powered harpoons or scientifically engineered ships to hunt them down, they hunt them the way their ancestors have done for centuries. They only hunt what they can eat, not 10,000 whales a season.
So based on the history people killing these amazing and gentle animals and the Japanese who ignore the fact that whales are a dying species and need us to protect them in order for our grand kids to actual know what a whale is. So they deserved Mother Natures cruel little joke. But then again when you are carting a 50 ton dead whale carcass through a town what do you expect?
I was woke up this morning at 3:00 AM by piano music. Very nice piano music I might add. I laid there in bed trying to figure out what it was that I was hearing. Thinking the CD on my nightstand had come on. I reached over to turn it off only to actually turn it on by hitting the on/off button. So I now know that it was not the Yanni CD playing. But the music was still going. It was not loud music as if I was sitting in a lounge it was soft as if it was being played somewhere else. The thing is I have 2 neighbors and neither of them own a piano and I would not hear it even if they did. So my conclusion was this was "other worldly" music. I liked it and since I was not feeling threatened and the dogs were still asleep I was went back to sleep listening to this nice music.
When I woke up this morning I was still thinking about the my concert in the middle of the night and I recalled another odd event that happened earlier in the week. After closing up the house and going to bed, I heard a thump in the sanctuary aka hamster/gerbil/guinea pig room, so I got up to see what the critters were up to in there. I saw the glass container of sunflower seeds had fallen from the top of Buddha's cage to floor and across the room. This would be pretty much scientifically impossible. First off the glass container is square and heavy, so even if it fell it would not roll across the room. Second if the container had fallen the lid would have popped off, but the lid was still tightly secured on the container. Not reallying caring I put it back on top of Buddha's cage, this was my security lock for his lid, since he is new I do not know his level of escape and I don't want him to figure out he can open the lid by pushing up. Later in the night I heard some rustling and moving but animals live in there so I let it go. When I went to make sure all was well in the sanctuary you could immediately tell someone had fun in there. Shavings were scattered all over the floor and Tommy the gerbil was out.
Tommy never gets out, NEVER. He is the best behaved one of all, catching him proved to be a challenge because he is in love with the dogs and wanted to play. He actually was running up to them trying to touch Kali so the kids got tossed out in the morning snow while I caught him and put him back. After that we had a good old fashioned "Come to Jesus" meeting as we call them in the south. Now if you have never had a "Come to Jesus" meeting with spirits it is always an event. Why? Because you are basically talking to the air. I can only hope they are listening. Apparently they are because life in the sanctuary is quiet at the moment.
I also realized that today is the last full moon of 2008 so things can only get nuttier.
When I woke up this morning I was still thinking about the my concert in the middle of the night and I recalled another odd event that happened earlier in the week. After closing up the house and going to bed, I heard a thump in the sanctuary aka hamster/gerbil/guinea pig room, so I got up to see what the critters were up to in there. I saw the glass container of sunflower seeds had fallen from the top of Buddha's cage to floor and across the room. This would be pretty much scientifically impossible. First off the glass container is square and heavy, so even if it fell it would not roll across the room. Second if the container had fallen the lid would have popped off, but the lid was still tightly secured on the container. Not reallying caring I put it back on top of Buddha's cage, this was my security lock for his lid, since he is new I do not know his level of escape and I don't want him to figure out he can open the lid by pushing up. Later in the night I heard some rustling and moving but animals live in there so I let it go. When I went to make sure all was well in the sanctuary you could immediately tell someone had fun in there. Shavings were scattered all over the floor and Tommy the gerbil was out.
Tommy never gets out, NEVER. He is the best behaved one of all, catching him proved to be a challenge because he is in love with the dogs and wanted to play. He actually was running up to them trying to touch Kali so the kids got tossed out in the morning snow while I caught him and put him back. After that we had a good old fashioned "Come to Jesus" meeting as we call them in the south. Now if you have never had a "Come to Jesus" meeting with spirits it is always an event. Why? Because you are basically talking to the air. I can only hope they are listening. Apparently they are because life in the sanctuary is quiet at the moment.
I also realized that today is the last full moon of 2008 so things can only get nuttier.
I have been feeling very "flighty" lately. I have done things that are so out of character with me that I am left baffled and speechless; such as running a red light for no reason other than one of my personalities decided it had turned green. Lucky for me it was not a busy intersection but I had to face one of Albuquerque's finest and tell him flat out "I got nothing. I have no idea why I did that." He was very nice and let me go since he was just as confused as I was. After that little interlude, I decided it was time to check out my astrological chart and see what was going on. What I found out has me excited and a little confused.
For those of you who do not know, I am a Capricorn which is a earth sign. As a Capricorn we are very down to earth and practical to a fault. I would love a red convertible but when it comes time to buy one, I talk myself out of it because it is not practical. Not only am I a Capricorn I have 7 planets in Virgo another earth sign. On another front, my outward personality is very vivacious and outgoing so anyone who knows astrology would think I was a Sagittarius because I act like one on the outside, but once you get to know me you know I am fun and easy going to a point but if you live with me (which no one can) I am not so fun and easy going.
My life revolves around work, I am a workaholic and I always have been. I was told point blank that nothing will ever be more important to me than my career; not family and certainly not a partner. In fact I have absolutely NOTHING in my house of partnerships. Again, I was told that the chances of me having a lasting relationship are pretty much nonexistent. Unless I find someone who is just as much of a workaholic as I am since any man I meet is going to want to spend time with me.
This is where my confusion comes into play. #3 is very much into astrology, he is all about his chart and everyone elses. He claims to have done my chart years before we ever got together, he claims to have "decided" he wanted to marry me based on my chart and how close they were together. Why didn't he see that I have nothing in my house for partnerships? He should have known that I would not be able to have a lasting relationship with anyone. He should have known that I would never be able to be completely and totally open with anyone. It is in my chart plain and clear.
So did he mis read the chart? Probably not. One thing I have found out through trial and error is that you can not give a unbiased reading to someone you are close to. It does not matter if it is Astrology, Tarot, Numerology, Runes, etc. You will always read into it your personal feelings and desires. As the relationship starts to change and you see more of them your opinion changes. I personally feel that #3 did not like what he started to see in my chart and that was one of the main reasons he left. I have several years of challenges and ups and downs. But, I know now that this is not a bad thing. Challenges are good for me, I like to be challenged. Ups and downs are just that; but they pass. If you are reading a chart and you see this you will get scared especially if you do not handle these things well yourself. Then they are going to become problems for you. #3 does not do change or challenges well, he sees them as a negative, ups and downs are a negative thing for him as well. So I can see why he bailed. Why would you want to ride that out if you did not have to?
I was excited to hear this because for the first time I am not told this information in a negative light. I am told this information as just that information. I am told you can do this two ways positive or negative. The positive way is to be prepared for it and face it head on. Be prepared to work on grounding yourself, staying in the now, staying focused. Don't allow your thoughts and imagination to get the better of you because it will win. So I know that until 2010 I need to work on staying grounding so that Albuquerque's finest can forget that I am out there. I started by finding out what was the best gem to wear for grounding and it is Moldavite so I have that to help. However, it also intensifys any psychic or paranormal experiences you have. So this should be lots of fun.
I just wonder that if I knew this information in 1999 would I have ever gotten involved with #3 or would I have been okay with saying "No thanks"? Now I can be honest with any man who shows interest and tell him up front that unless he is okay with once a week don't bother. Because it is not going to happen. I am okay if he decides not to bother, because I don't want to go through another relationship wasting my time and theirs only to find out in the end that it was never a possibility in the first place.
For those of you who do not know, I am a Capricorn which is a earth sign. As a Capricorn we are very down to earth and practical to a fault. I would love a red convertible but when it comes time to buy one, I talk myself out of it because it is not practical. Not only am I a Capricorn I have 7 planets in Virgo another earth sign. On another front, my outward personality is very vivacious and outgoing so anyone who knows astrology would think I was a Sagittarius because I act like one on the outside, but once you get to know me you know I am fun and easy going to a point but if you live with me (which no one can) I am not so fun and easy going.
My life revolves around work, I am a workaholic and I always have been. I was told point blank that nothing will ever be more important to me than my career; not family and certainly not a partner. In fact I have absolutely NOTHING in my house of partnerships. Again, I was told that the chances of me having a lasting relationship are pretty much nonexistent. Unless I find someone who is just as much of a workaholic as I am since any man I meet is going to want to spend time with me.
This is where my confusion comes into play. #3 is very much into astrology, he is all about his chart and everyone elses. He claims to have done my chart years before we ever got together, he claims to have "decided" he wanted to marry me based on my chart and how close they were together. Why didn't he see that I have nothing in my house for partnerships? He should have known that I would not be able to have a lasting relationship with anyone. He should have known that I would never be able to be completely and totally open with anyone. It is in my chart plain and clear.
So did he mis read the chart? Probably not. One thing I have found out through trial and error is that you can not give a unbiased reading to someone you are close to. It does not matter if it is Astrology, Tarot, Numerology, Runes, etc. You will always read into it your personal feelings and desires. As the relationship starts to change and you see more of them your opinion changes. I personally feel that #3 did not like what he started to see in my chart and that was one of the main reasons he left. I have several years of challenges and ups and downs. But, I know now that this is not a bad thing. Challenges are good for me, I like to be challenged. Ups and downs are just that; but they pass. If you are reading a chart and you see this you will get scared especially if you do not handle these things well yourself. Then they are going to become problems for you. #3 does not do change or challenges well, he sees them as a negative, ups and downs are a negative thing for him as well. So I can see why he bailed. Why would you want to ride that out if you did not have to?
I was excited to hear this because for the first time I am not told this information in a negative light. I am told this information as just that information. I am told you can do this two ways positive or negative. The positive way is to be prepared for it and face it head on. Be prepared to work on grounding yourself, staying in the now, staying focused. Don't allow your thoughts and imagination to get the better of you because it will win. So I know that until 2010 I need to work on staying grounding so that Albuquerque's finest can forget that I am out there. I started by finding out what was the best gem to wear for grounding and it is Moldavite so I have that to help. However, it also intensifys any psychic or paranormal experiences you have. So this should be lots of fun.
I just wonder that if I knew this information in 1999 would I have ever gotten involved with #3 or would I have been okay with saying "No thanks"? Now I can be honest with any man who shows interest and tell him up front that unless he is okay with once a week don't bother. Because it is not going to happen. I am okay if he decides not to bother, because I don't want to go through another relationship wasting my time and theirs only to find out in the end that it was never a possibility in the first place.
I decided yesterday that in the year 2009 I am going to go on a vacation by myself, completely alone, no one but me, myself and I. I know I travel all over the place alone but I want to travel, vacation and return home alone. This is one of my goals of self discovery, learning how to be happy in a new environment alone. Without anyone to rely on or ask questions of or depend on to know what we are doing.
I am trying to figure out where it is I want to go and when. My ideas are:
1. Hawaii
2. Carribbean cruise
3. Mexico (Isla Holbox)
4. California
Hawaii is still my top choice. It seems fairly easy to get to and I can spend a week on the beach. I like the cruise idea because it is all inclusive and you go to relatively safe places that I can explore alone. Mexico is probably out of the question due to their continued civil unrest and drug wars it seems to dangerous to be wandering off alone. California would be nice for whale watching or shark diving but not much more. I have never really been a big fan of California. The water is too cold to enjoy and it is too crowded. besides you need a car to go everywhere.
I want to be able to take a shuttle from the airport to the hotel and then bus or cab after that. I don't want to spend my vacation driving around. I want to go on a few tours and spend the time alone working on my own stuff. This is why Hawaii or a cruise are sounding more practical. If you can think of somewhere you want to ad to my list please do so. Here are my requirements.
1. Must have beach
2. Not a major city
3. Safe for me to be alone
I am trying to figure out where it is I want to go and when. My ideas are:
1. Hawaii
2. Carribbean cruise
3. Mexico (Isla Holbox)
4. California
Hawaii is still my top choice. It seems fairly easy to get to and I can spend a week on the beach. I like the cruise idea because it is all inclusive and you go to relatively safe places that I can explore alone. Mexico is probably out of the question due to their continued civil unrest and drug wars it seems to dangerous to be wandering off alone. California would be nice for whale watching or shark diving but not much more. I have never really been a big fan of California. The water is too cold to enjoy and it is too crowded. besides you need a car to go everywhere.
I want to be able to take a shuttle from the airport to the hotel and then bus or cab after that. I don't want to spend my vacation driving around. I want to go on a few tours and spend the time alone working on my own stuff. This is why Hawaii or a cruise are sounding more practical. If you can think of somewhere you want to ad to my list please do so. Here are my requirements.
1. Must have beach
2. Not a major city
3. Safe for me to be alone
As I said in the previous post I was given two Campbell Russian Dwarf Hamsters which the production assistant that originally wanted to adopt them named them Mo and Hawk because they have a black line of fur that runs down their back looking much like a mohawk.
Well you know that all my animals get names based on their personality or some other twisted version of naming them. These two were hard to name because they are just plain mean. But on top of the meanness they are incredibly curious animals. The first night I was able to hold them and cuddle them but that ended after a night in the sanctuary and I am sure after their orientation from the other animals in there they were taught not to be nice.
The names did not come to me until late last night when I was creating cages for them to help with their curiosity. Buddha was named Buddha because he is kinda rotund and he has a habit of sitting on his fat fanny in his food bowl and he looks like a fat Buddha.
Lakshmi was named after the Hindu goddess Lakshmi who is the goddess of wealth and prosperity. I figured this time of year is all about prosperity and good will. So why not name her after the goddess and hopefully she will bring those two qualities into my home.
Besides every since I saw the story of the baby Lakshmi in India who was born with 4 arms and 4 legs, or basically a headless twin attached to her I have been dying to have something to name Lakshmi just because I LOVE that name. I thought about having a baby and naming her Lakshmi but it was so much easier to get a hamster and a lot cheaper.
I will post photos as soon as Josh get's here with my camera. But for the meantime they look like this...
Well you know that all my animals get names based on their personality or some other twisted version of naming them. These two were hard to name because they are just plain mean. But on top of the meanness they are incredibly curious animals. The first night I was able to hold them and cuddle them but that ended after a night in the sanctuary and I am sure after their orientation from the other animals in there they were taught not to be nice.
The names did not come to me until late last night when I was creating cages for them to help with their curiosity. Buddha was named Buddha because he is kinda rotund and he has a habit of sitting on his fat fanny in his food bowl and he looks like a fat Buddha.
Lakshmi was named after the Hindu goddess Lakshmi who is the goddess of wealth and prosperity. I figured this time of year is all about prosperity and good will. So why not name her after the goddess and hopefully she will bring those two qualities into my home.
Besides every since I saw the story of the baby Lakshmi in India who was born with 4 arms and 4 legs, or basically a headless twin attached to her I have been dying to have something to name Lakshmi just because I LOVE that name. I thought about having a baby and naming her Lakshmi but it was so much easier to get a hamster and a lot cheaper.
I will post photos as soon as Josh get's here with my camera. But for the meantime they look like this...
I have been thinking about how to explain the events of the past few days. It was crazy, silly and a bit Hollywood. So the only way I know to explain how my hamsters ended up on a movie set here in Albuquerque is to start at the beginning.
It started last week on Wednesday, I got a call from a number with a “661” area code and since I did not recognize it I ignored the phone call. Carrie with Gentle Jungle in California left a message asking me about adopting a hamster. I called her back and told her I did not have any hamsters available for adoption but I think there was someone on craigslist selling one. At this point in the conversation I had no idea what this was about or why she wanted a hamster. Carrie started to explain that they needed 2 hamsters that were beige and white that would be used together in a movie. So I did the speech about hamsters not being able to be together that if they are they will fight yada yada yada. Well, she was a bit upset to learn this and asked a million questions about how to get hamsters to work together. She may know everything there is too know about working with Lions, Tigers, Bears, oh my. But she knew nothing about working with a hamster. She told me that she would have Tamara call me since she was in New Mexico and would be the one in charge of the animals in the movie.
A few minutes later I got a call from Tamara of Gentle Jungle and she was in fact here in Albuquerque working on the movie Men Who Stare At Goats. We discussed the difficulties of working with hamsters, the fact that they are nocturnal and not easy to train. She mentioned that they could not find any hamsters that the director liked and wanted to know if they could “borrow” Parker and Guinevere and Lance and Pandora just in case he liked them. I have to say I was nervous and bit uneasy about loaning my animals for a Hollywood movie. The most I would do was agree to meet them at my house and let them see the girls. So Tamara came over and we spent some time talking about my hamsters, their personalities, and temperaments. After she agreed to sign her life away if ANYTHING happened to my furry babies I agreed to let her use them. So we loaded up 4 cages and almost 1 dog, Kali was not happy to see her subjects leave without her. It was a lonely night without my hammies to keep me company, but it was also the night of the office Christmas dinner so I was gone until 10 pm. So there was not a lot of time to miss them.
Friday, came and I talked to Tamara off and on all day checking on the girls and making sure they were okay. She assured me that they were fine. My co workers spent the day making fun of me and my “movie star” hamsters. Who were living the life of royalty on a movie set. Finally at 9pm I told her I would come and get them since I was exhausted and had a long weekend ahead of me. They were filming in a neighborhood outside of downtown. So I drove over and was given permission to be on “set,” it was very exciting. All the cameras and people running around, yelling “Rolling” and “Cut” it was just like you see on TV only in real life. I could not get the girls right away because they were inside the house out of the cold. So I hung around and talked to people working on the movie, we talked about the dynamics of making the movie in the middle of a neighborhood and so on. They wanted to know all about rescuing hamsters and how one gets into the business. I thought it was funny them asking me “How do you get into the business of hamster rescue?” when they were in the most difficult business to get into in the world. Everyone was very nice and interesting. I was confused by the man in the kilt. I was not sure if that was part of the movie or if he was a real Scotsman and just liked wearing a kilt. I did wonder about his "little person "because it was freaking freezing out there. But I was polite and did not ask.
I did have to meet with the Animal Humane representative, whenever animals are used in a movie someone from Animal Humane has to be there. So she got all my information and we discussed the legalities of using animals in movies. She also informed me that I would be going home with possibly 4 new more hamsters than I came with. Apparently they had bought 4 more hamsters from Petco (2 shorthaired hamsters and 2 Russian Black hamsters). There is a law that when animals are purchased for a movie they can not be taken home by anyone on the set. They have to be turned over to an adoption group or rescue then the person can adopt them that way. Lucky for me the 2 short haired hamsters were purchased privately by Tamara and belonged to her but the Black Russian’s came home with me.
As we loaded up 4 cages and 2 boxes full of hamsters I was happy to see my girls and one boy come out to say hi. As I greeted each one by name they popped their furry heads out of their hideaways to see what mommy was doing. Of course the Hollywood people immediately thought I had them trained to know their names. I explained that it was not their names they recognized but my voice and this was their usual dinner time. So I hated to disappoint them but they were only looking for their nightly snack and nothing more. Gentle Jungle did make a nice donation to Haven for Hamsters and I got to meet some nice people. Unfortunately the one gentleman who wanted to adopt the Black Russian’s changed his mind after I explained that they would each need a cage and what all that entailed. But as I always say the more the merrier and Kali is thrilled with two new minions to do her evil bidding.
It started last week on Wednesday, I got a call from a number with a “661” area code and since I did not recognize it I ignored the phone call. Carrie with Gentle Jungle in California left a message asking me about adopting a hamster. I called her back and told her I did not have any hamsters available for adoption but I think there was someone on craigslist selling one. At this point in the conversation I had no idea what this was about or why she wanted a hamster. Carrie started to explain that they needed 2 hamsters that were beige and white that would be used together in a movie. So I did the speech about hamsters not being able to be together that if they are they will fight yada yada yada. Well, she was a bit upset to learn this and asked a million questions about how to get hamsters to work together. She may know everything there is too know about working with Lions, Tigers, Bears, oh my. But she knew nothing about working with a hamster. She told me that she would have Tamara call me since she was in New Mexico and would be the one in charge of the animals in the movie.
A few minutes later I got a call from Tamara of Gentle Jungle and she was in fact here in Albuquerque working on the movie Men Who Stare At Goats. We discussed the difficulties of working with hamsters, the fact that they are nocturnal and not easy to train. She mentioned that they could not find any hamsters that the director liked and wanted to know if they could “borrow” Parker and Guinevere and Lance and Pandora just in case he liked them. I have to say I was nervous and bit uneasy about loaning my animals for a Hollywood movie. The most I would do was agree to meet them at my house and let them see the girls. So Tamara came over and we spent some time talking about my hamsters, their personalities, and temperaments. After she agreed to sign her life away if ANYTHING happened to my furry babies I agreed to let her use them. So we loaded up 4 cages and almost 1 dog, Kali was not happy to see her subjects leave without her. It was a lonely night without my hammies to keep me company, but it was also the night of the office Christmas dinner so I was gone until 10 pm. So there was not a lot of time to miss them.
Friday, came and I talked to Tamara off and on all day checking on the girls and making sure they were okay. She assured me that they were fine. My co workers spent the day making fun of me and my “movie star” hamsters. Who were living the life of royalty on a movie set. Finally at 9pm I told her I would come and get them since I was exhausted and had a long weekend ahead of me. They were filming in a neighborhood outside of downtown. So I drove over and was given permission to be on “set,” it was very exciting. All the cameras and people running around, yelling “Rolling” and “Cut” it was just like you see on TV only in real life. I could not get the girls right away because they were inside the house out of the cold. So I hung around and talked to people working on the movie, we talked about the dynamics of making the movie in the middle of a neighborhood and so on. They wanted to know all about rescuing hamsters and how one gets into the business. I thought it was funny them asking me “How do you get into the business of hamster rescue?” when they were in the most difficult business to get into in the world. Everyone was very nice and interesting. I was confused by the man in the kilt. I was not sure if that was part of the movie or if he was a real Scotsman and just liked wearing a kilt. I did wonder about his "little person "because it was freaking freezing out there. But I was polite and did not ask.
I did have to meet with the Animal Humane representative, whenever animals are used in a movie someone from Animal Humane has to be there. So she got all my information and we discussed the legalities of using animals in movies. She also informed me that I would be going home with possibly 4 new more hamsters than I came with. Apparently they had bought 4 more hamsters from Petco (2 shorthaired hamsters and 2 Russian Black hamsters). There is a law that when animals are purchased for a movie they can not be taken home by anyone on the set. They have to be turned over to an adoption group or rescue then the person can adopt them that way. Lucky for me the 2 short haired hamsters were purchased privately by Tamara and belonged to her but the Black Russian’s came home with me.
As we loaded up 4 cages and 2 boxes full of hamsters I was happy to see my girls and one boy come out to say hi. As I greeted each one by name they popped their furry heads out of their hideaways to see what mommy was doing. Of course the Hollywood people immediately thought I had them trained to know their names. I explained that it was not their names they recognized but my voice and this was their usual dinner time. So I hated to disappoint them but they were only looking for their nightly snack and nothing more. Gentle Jungle did make a nice donation to Haven for Hamsters and I got to meet some nice people. Unfortunately the one gentleman who wanted to adopt the Black Russian’s changed his mind after I explained that they would each need a cage and what all that entailed. But as I always say the more the merrier and Kali is thrilled with two new minions to do her evil bidding.
Today, is November 30th it is the 24 anniversary of my friend Tim's death. He died when I was 16 in a car accident. At that point in my life he was the most important person in my life and I was madly in love with him. This was the first death I had experienced that was close to me. It was also the beginning of my life of not trusting anyone to be close to me again. If they could be taken away so quickly I could not take the chance on trusting anyone again.
Tim comes and goes around me once in awhile. He is not one that stays in this dimension often, he seems to enjoy the other side a lot and stays over there most of the time. If Tim comes to me it is usually when I am having a very difficult time and he appears to me to remind me of a time when life was not so hard and things were not so dark.
Tim came to me Friday night and it was not in his usual way. He caught me off guard and let's just say the anger I had gotten over came back really fast. As I was lying in my bed attempting to go to sleep, I saw a dark shadow in my bathroom. It just hung there in the middle of the bathroom. I knew it was something more than a shadow because I could not see through it. I could see around it, but no through it. I was pissed, I do not allow any spirits in my bedroom (except my grandfather and he refuses to listen), much less to lurk in the bathroom. So I demanded that whoever it was get the hell out of my bathroom and leave. He ignored me, which made me madder. So I decided to ignore him, since the only way into my house is if I know them I knew there was no danger.
To see him again was nice and upsetting all at the same time. My life when he was here was not a good life for me. I was at odds with my mother constantly, she did not trust me and felt I would make the same mistakes she did in her life. So to compensate for that she kept me on a very short leash and anyone who knows me knows that I am not a nice person when I am not happy. But, I always consider him to be part of my life when it was simpler and he wanted to make me see what it was really like and not my fantasy.
He reminded me of something I had just told Phyllis not 2 days before. That this time was a time to look at what we have hidden, face it, deal with it and move on. He was something I had never dealt with, I understand now what and why my mom did what she did. I have the satisfaction of knowing that I was not what she thought I was. I did not repeat the mistakes she made as a teenager, there was never a chance that I would do what she did. We were two totally different people.
But, when he died a part of me went with him. I literally shut down the part of me that allowed me to trust someone on a level that I trusted him. I can honestly say he was the only person who knew me through and through. He knew my dreams, my nightmares, my hopes and my abilities. We talked in depth about his knowledge that he would not live to adulthood. He knew I would understand what he felt and not be afraid of it. He just always had a feeling that his job in this dimension was to make his parents happy and once he accomplished that it was over. I do not think he knew how or when he would die he just knew it would be before he was an adult.
This however did not make his dying any easier. The first time he ever came to me was at his funeral. As we were attempting to leave the cemetery the car would not start, I went back to his freshly filled grave to talk to him a little more. I assured him everyone would be fine and we would go on and that his job was done and he needed to move on. The cemetery was not the place for him to stay. After a few minutes the car started on its own. He just needed a little reassuring before he started his next journey and I started mine.
So my question to Tim was how do I face what happened 24 years ago? What do I do with the knowledge I have now and how do I apply it to that day in 1984? As only Tim could do he laughed and said only I knew the answer to that question and I had to trust myself to know the solution. In a side comment he also let me know that the person for me is out there and they are looking for me. He asked that I not worry about how I will know love when I find it, I will just know in my heart that it is right and to be sure I know he will come to me when this person comes into my life.
So basically I think I have a ghostly match maker. Wow talk about match made in heaven. Ha Ha.
The last few weeks have been a true emotional roller coaster for me. One minute I am ready to kill anyone who looks at me wrong the next minute I am crying about something I remembered from 20 years ago. Today was just right down weird, it was truly the pinnacle of my emotional craziness.
A few weeks ago I was so angry at everyone for everything. There was not one specific thing that started my anger but it was very confusing and actually a bit frightening to me. I was actually afraid to work with certain people because of my mood and what I might say or do. My mood was so explosive that I actually drank alcohol in the middle of the day to try and see if that would help my mood. It didn't, it just gave me a headache from hell that evening. It seems no matter how hard I try to get drunk, it just is not possible. Yeah Me.
The anger left as quickly as it came and in it's place it left the feeling of loss and heart ache. Personally I preferred the anger at least I know how to deal with that. For the next several days I would well up at the drop of a hat, I had dreams that made no sense to me at all, I had problems figuring out where I was in life and what I wanted out of it. The guides advice was to ride it out, it was all happening for a reason. Again Yeah Me.
So I am hoping this week is a mellow week with less emotions. I have two parties this week, French's is Tuesday night at the Marriott with my holiday date, Phyllis. RPI's is Thursday starting with shopping in Old Town, dinner at St. Claire Winery and Bistro and then I get to give them all a ghost tour of Old Town, I figure they will be so drunk by that point I can just take them in an alley and leave them. So maybe by partying all week my mood will stay in a good place. We will see.
A few weeks ago I was so angry at everyone for everything. There was not one specific thing that started my anger but it was very confusing and actually a bit frightening to me. I was actually afraid to work with certain people because of my mood and what I might say or do. My mood was so explosive that I actually drank alcohol in the middle of the day to try and see if that would help my mood. It didn't, it just gave me a headache from hell that evening. It seems no matter how hard I try to get drunk, it just is not possible. Yeah Me.
The anger left as quickly as it came and in it's place it left the feeling of loss and heart ache. Personally I preferred the anger at least I know how to deal with that. For the next several days I would well up at the drop of a hat, I had dreams that made no sense to me at all, I had problems figuring out where I was in life and what I wanted out of it. The guides advice was to ride it out, it was all happening for a reason. Again Yeah Me.
So I am hoping this week is a mellow week with less emotions. I have two parties this week, French's is Tuesday night at the Marriott with my holiday date, Phyllis. RPI's is Thursday starting with shopping in Old Town, dinner at St. Claire Winery and Bistro and then I get to give them all a ghost tour of Old Town, I figure they will be so drunk by that point I can just take them in an alley and leave them. So maybe by partying all week my mood will stay in a good place. We will see.
Thanksgiving was this past Thursday and for me it was relatively a nice day. I did have to go into work which was not something I was looking forward to but it turned out okay. It was a cold and rainy day here in Albuquerque but I was indoors so it did not matter too much. My two best friends were over; Phyllis and Eddie. We had a nice traditional dinner with turkey (breast only, we don't like dark meat), mashed potatoes, baked sweet potatoes, fresh bread, stuffing and pumpkin pie. We ate till we could not eat anymore and then just vegged out and watched National Treasure 2. When the evening was over everyone went home and the start of Christmas was in full swing.
I volunteered to work on Black Friday to save myself the temptations of shopping. With cold weather comes the busy season for the mortuary business. Since the weather has stayed relatively nice for much of the fall the mortuary business has been slower than usual. It is starting to pick up as the weather changes, I have no doubt that I will be busy for the next several weeks.
This holiday season has already started off much different that last years. Last year I was so far into a depression that I did not know one day from the next, much less one holiday from the next. I have already put up my tree and made a wreath for my door and one for my neighbors door. And as all the years in the past I am ready for January and the end of the holiday season.
I volunteered to work on Black Friday to save myself the temptations of shopping. With cold weather comes the busy season for the mortuary business. Since the weather has stayed relatively nice for much of the fall the mortuary business has been slower than usual. It is starting to pick up as the weather changes, I have no doubt that I will be busy for the next several weeks.
This holiday season has already started off much different that last years. Last year I was so far into a depression that I did not know one day from the next, much less one holiday from the next. I have already put up my tree and made a wreath for my door and one for my neighbors door. And as all the years in the past I am ready for January and the end of the holiday season.
MSN had a list of the top 10 things no one wants to get for Christmas. Well they apparently forgot to ask me because there were several things on this list that I want.
#3 Coffin Couch only $3,500. My only question is "Are they all in black vinyl?"I would prefer something more soft and cozy. Maybe a nice oak or pine.
#7 Rainboot Purse $69 As a lover of purse this is a must have. I am not sure what I could fit into it because my brush is bigger than the boot. But, I would certainly give it good try.
But for the most part I like the off the wall out of the ordinary gifts. I will have to think of these when I am doing my annual shopping trip for my own gift. This year may take on a new twist who knows.
#1 Life Gem. For the small amount of $2,699-$24,999 Life Gem uses the cremated remains of your pet and turns them into gem. I have some hamster ashes that would make a great diamond ring.
#3 Coffin Couch only $3,500. My only question is "Are they all in black vinyl?"I would prefer something more soft and cozy. Maybe a nice oak or pine.
#5 Fish Bowl Bookends $32.95. I love this idea, I so want fish as bookends. They would be adorable sitting on my desk holding all my novels of shame.
#7 Rainboot Purse $69 As a lover of purse this is a must have. I am not sure what I could fit into it because my brush is bigger than the boot. But, I would certainly give it good try.
# 9 Bestow Wall Mounted Hand Vase, $95. This just looks like something to annoy people with and hang my jacket on at the same time.
They did have several things that I did not want anymore than the next person; such as; Fundies which are undies made for two. This is totally lost on me since there is only the one what would the point be. Chanel sandals with a light bulb for the heel. It does not say what happens when the light bulb breaks. Can you change it out or are the shoes ruined? Gold Pills, I just don't know what the point is. Is there a health benefit to swallowing a pill filled with solid gold?
But for the most part I like the off the wall out of the ordinary gifts. I will have to think of these when I am doing my annual shopping trip for my own gift. This year may take on a new twist who knows.
I usually take a quick glance at my horrorscope once in awhile. I don't usually plan my life around my astrology. But I do like it when my astrology only verifies what the guides have already told me. It is sorta of back up.
So several days ago Z and the Boys informed me that my subconscious was holding on to people and thoughts that I was not technically aware of. Here is what my astrology for today said
"Self-inquiry Valid during several weeks: At this time you have to get in touch with your own subconscious mind, to find out how it directs your life in ways that you aren't aware of. Try to see how your actions may run counter to your conscious intentions. "
Interesting right? I have been trying to figure out my subconscious mind and let me tell you when you do it gets very upset. I have decided that my subconscious mind is like the evil me. It wants to do things on its own and by its own rules. It does not like me trying to take over, so it has been a battle of wills on who will win out. Me or my subconscious. Right now I really don't know who is going to win all I know is that I am in a VERY BAD MOOD. Nothing is sitting well with me the last few days and if you try to "make" me do something without my knowledge (IE: schedule me for a training on my night off without even telling me) you are bound to end up headless. So for now I am going to go and sit in a corner and try not to kill anyone. I can't make any guarantees but hopefully the blood shed with small.
So several days ago Z and the Boys informed me that my subconscious was holding on to people and thoughts that I was not technically aware of. Here is what my astrology for today said
"Self-inquiry Valid during several weeks: At this time you have to get in touch with your own subconscious mind, to find out how it directs your life in ways that you aren't aware of. Try to see how your actions may run counter to your conscious intentions. "
Interesting right? I have been trying to figure out my subconscious mind and let me tell you when you do it gets very upset. I have decided that my subconscious mind is like the evil me. It wants to do things on its own and by its own rules. It does not like me trying to take over, so it has been a battle of wills on who will win out. Me or my subconscious. Right now I really don't know who is going to win all I know is that I am in a VERY BAD MOOD. Nothing is sitting well with me the last few days and if you try to "make" me do something without my knowledge (IE: schedule me for a training on my night off without even telling me) you are bound to end up headless. So for now I am going to go and sit in a corner and try not to kill anyone. I can't make any guarantees but hopefully the blood shed with small.
Several years ago I discovered a great way to de stress during the day. I found various webcams on line and if I started to get frazzeled I would go to one of the sites I liked and just watch for a few minutes. As the holidays approach and we are start stressing over the little things stop and visit one of these sites and just relax.
The Puppy Cam: Watch 6 Shiba Inu puppies do what puppies do best play and sleep.
http://cdn1.ustream.tv/swf/4/viewer.45.swf?cid=317016
Elephant Seals: Ano Nuevo Island off the California coast is one of the largest Elephant Seal colonies. They have a webcam set up where you can watch them bask in the sun, fight, swim and just do nothing. The babies some in the winter so you can watch them roll around.
http://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/sealcam/
Wild Africa: You are viewing Pete's Pond in Botswana Africa. The one draw back to this one is that the best time to view it is hard for us to do. They are 9 hours ahead of us in New Mexico, example it is 7:50 pm there and 10:50 am here. The best times to view are early morning there and early evening there. But watching this webcam I have seen elephants, hyenas, strange monkeys, wild dogs and lots of birds.
http://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/wildcamafrica/
Belize Reefs: This is a new webcam and it is underwater. You watch the reef in Belize. It is not really exciting but it is very relaxing to watch the current sway from side to side. You will see a variety of fish and sometimes a shark or two.
http://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/wildcambelize/
Monteray Bay Aquarium: This is one of the best webcams. They have 8 different cameras at different exhibits. Of course I love the Outer Bay Aquarium because that is where they display the Great White Shark when they get one in the early fall. This years has already been released in the wild but the last 3 years they had one in the aquarium for several months. But it is still fun to watch the HUGE fish and turtles they have. They also have a camera for the otters and the bay. The bay is relaxing because you watch the waves and you can hear the water and the seals in the background. Once in awhile you will see a little seal in the water hanging out on the rock, you will see boaters and kayakers go by in the warmer weather.
http://www.mbayaq.org/efc/cam_menu.asp
So when you start feeling stressed go to one of these sites and relax. I will post more as they become available. I am waiting for the Polar Bear Cam and the Grizzle Cam to come back online but that will not happen anytime soon due to weather issues.
The Puppy Cam: Watch 6 Shiba Inu puppies do what puppies do best play and sleep.
http://cdn1.ustream.tv/swf/4/viewer.45.swf?cid=317016
Elephant Seals: Ano Nuevo Island off the California coast is one of the largest Elephant Seal colonies. They have a webcam set up where you can watch them bask in the sun, fight, swim and just do nothing. The babies some in the winter so you can watch them roll around.
http://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/sealcam/
Wild Africa: You are viewing Pete's Pond in Botswana Africa. The one draw back to this one is that the best time to view it is hard for us to do. They are 9 hours ahead of us in New Mexico, example it is 7:50 pm there and 10:50 am here. The best times to view are early morning there and early evening there. But watching this webcam I have seen elephants, hyenas, strange monkeys, wild dogs and lots of birds.
http://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/wildcamafrica/
Belize Reefs: This is a new webcam and it is underwater. You watch the reef in Belize. It is not really exciting but it is very relaxing to watch the current sway from side to side. You will see a variety of fish and sometimes a shark or two.
http://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/wildcambelize/
Monteray Bay Aquarium: This is one of the best webcams. They have 8 different cameras at different exhibits. Of course I love the Outer Bay Aquarium because that is where they display the Great White Shark when they get one in the early fall. This years has already been released in the wild but the last 3 years they had one in the aquarium for several months. But it is still fun to watch the HUGE fish and turtles they have. They also have a camera for the otters and the bay. The bay is relaxing because you watch the waves and you can hear the water and the seals in the background. Once in awhile you will see a little seal in the water hanging out on the rock, you will see boaters and kayakers go by in the warmer weather.
http://www.mbayaq.org/efc/cam_menu.asp
So when you start feeling stressed go to one of these sites and relax. I will post more as they become available. I am waiting for the Polar Bear Cam and the Grizzle Cam to come back online but that will not happen anytime soon due to weather issues.
Blame Sandy for this one. She emailed me her list of 43 Odd Things About Her so I figured lets continue the tradition of answering the questionnaires. So here we go
1. Do you like blue cheese? No, Cheese should be white or yellow not blue. EEEWWWWEEE
2. Have you ever smoked? Yes, I use to smoke before I got pregnant with Joshua. Now if you see me smoking turn and run that means someone is about to die because I am pissed off.
3. Do you own a gun? No, we decided me and a gun was not a good idea. I think it has something to do with my version of protecting myself. I trap the criminal in my house, then I tie them to a chair, I start at the toes, shooting one little piggy, then a knee, then a part they really like and I continue to move my way up. See me and a gun...bad idea.
4. What flavor Kool Aid was your favorite? Was my favorite? I am still a fan of Kool Aid. In the summer I like the sugar free cherry or the regular black cherry and I pour it over shaved ice
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? No
6. What do you think of hot dogs? I think I will pass.
7. Favorite Christmas movie? When I was little it was the Grinch because there is a Cindy in the show as an adult I don't know that I have a favorite. I just watch them all.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Diet Coke or Pepsi
9. Can you do push ups? Push bra yes, push with my arms hell no.
10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? It depends on what I need. If I need grounding I have a charged necklace from Phyllis for that, if I need peace I have a amethyst and blue topaz necklace for that.
11. Favorite hobby? Hobbies I use to know what those were. I guess my hobby now is the animals. Since they take up all my spare time.
12. Do you have A.D.D.? I don't thinkkkkkkkkkkk..........ooohhh shiny light.....no I don't have ADD
13. What's one trait you hate about yourself? Nothing now, I use to hate the fact that I allowed myself to trust people to easily.
14. Middle name? Ann
15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment.
(1) I can't think of three things
(2) What reports are due today and what are due tomorrow
(3) I think I can make a turducken for thanksgiving after all
16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Iced tea, diet coke, diet Pepsi
17. Current worry? Deciding if I really want to go home for the holidays
18. Current hate right now? Let's just not go there.
19. Favorite place to be? Any beach
20. How did you bring in the New Year? I really do not remember so apparently it was nothing great
21. Where would you like to go? Any beach
22. Name three people who will complete this? Since I am not passing it on no one will complete it
23. Do you own slippers? I use too. But for me I run around bare foot all the time even in the winter so slippers are a waste of money
24. What shirt are you wearing? red blouse
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? No, the sheets and blankets don't stay still they are always sliding around
26. Can you whistle? Yes, a bit
27. Favorite color? Depends on the season and mood
28. Would you be a pirate? Maybe not today's pirate but the one's I read about in the romance novels are great. So sure I would definitely be a Harlequin romance pirate
29. Do you sing in the shower?No
30. Favorite girl's name? I don't have a favorite name other than my own. Since I name the animals by energy and vibration and by what I get from them I don't have a pre set of names
31. Favorite boy's name? See question 31
32. What's in your pocket now?? Nothing
33. What was the last thing that made you laugh? Probably working with Harold and Kristian
34. What's the best dish you cook? I am just really starting to cook so I am not sure what the best is you would probably have to ask Phyllis since she is the taste tester of all my meals
35. Worst injury you've ever had? I hurt my foot and had to have surgery but it was not too terrible.
36. Do you love where you live? Love is such a big word. I like where I am for the moment.
37. How many TVs do you have in your house? 2
38. Who is your loudest friend? All my friends are loud and that is because we are always have fun wherever we are. So the one person that I get to laughing with and can not stop is Gail we always get funny looks when we go out.
39. Do you have any pets? Wait let me think....No, I don't have pets I have animal companions. Dogs - Tau & Kali, Teddy Bear Hamsters - Parker & Guinevere, Dwarf Hamsters - Lance & Pandora, Gerbil - Tommy, Guinea Pigs - Zara, Zoe, Mario & Rusty
40. Does someone have a crush on you? God I hope not
42. Favorite Sports Teams? I always say I hate sports because I do. But, if I think long and hard on it I can come up with a sport I like. So let me think a second.....nope I still hate sports.
43. What song do you want played at your funeral? I absolutely fanatically do not want a funeral. I am being cremated or donated to science whichever Joshua decides and then he and the family are to take a trip in my honor and remember me the way I want them to as the fun loving person I am.
1. Do you like blue cheese? No, Cheese should be white or yellow not blue. EEEWWWWEEE
2. Have you ever smoked? Yes, I use to smoke before I got pregnant with Joshua. Now if you see me smoking turn and run that means someone is about to die because I am pissed off.
3. Do you own a gun? No, we decided me and a gun was not a good idea. I think it has something to do with my version of protecting myself. I trap the criminal in my house, then I tie them to a chair, I start at the toes, shooting one little piggy, then a knee, then a part they really like and I continue to move my way up. See me and a gun...bad idea.
4. What flavor Kool Aid was your favorite? Was my favorite? I am still a fan of Kool Aid. In the summer I like the sugar free cherry or the regular black cherry and I pour it over shaved ice
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? No
6. What do you think of hot dogs? I think I will pass.
7. Favorite Christmas movie? When I was little it was the Grinch because there is a Cindy in the show as an adult I don't know that I have a favorite. I just watch them all.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Diet Coke or Pepsi
9. Can you do push ups? Push bra yes, push with my arms hell no.
10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? It depends on what I need. If I need grounding I have a charged necklace from Phyllis for that, if I need peace I have a amethyst and blue topaz necklace for that.
11. Favorite hobby? Hobbies I use to know what those were. I guess my hobby now is the animals. Since they take up all my spare time.
12. Do you have A.D.D.? I don't thinkkkkkkkkkkk..........ooohhh shiny light.....no I don't have ADD
13. What's one trait you hate about yourself? Nothing now, I use to hate the fact that I allowed myself to trust people to easily.
14. Middle name? Ann
15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment.
(1) I can't think of three things
(2) What reports are due today and what are due tomorrow
(3) I think I can make a turducken for thanksgiving after all
16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Iced tea, diet coke, diet Pepsi
17. Current worry? Deciding if I really want to go home for the holidays
18. Current hate right now? Let's just not go there.
19. Favorite place to be? Any beach
20. How did you bring in the New Year? I really do not remember so apparently it was nothing great
21. Where would you like to go? Any beach
22. Name three people who will complete this? Since I am not passing it on no one will complete it
23. Do you own slippers? I use too. But for me I run around bare foot all the time even in the winter so slippers are a waste of money
24. What shirt are you wearing? red blouse
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? No, the sheets and blankets don't stay still they are always sliding around
26. Can you whistle? Yes, a bit
27. Favorite color? Depends on the season and mood
28. Would you be a pirate? Maybe not today's pirate but the one's I read about in the romance novels are great. So sure I would definitely be a Harlequin romance pirate
29. Do you sing in the shower?No
30. Favorite girl's name? I don't have a favorite name other than my own. Since I name the animals by energy and vibration and by what I get from them I don't have a pre set of names
31. Favorite boy's name? See question 31
32. What's in your pocket now?? Nothing
33. What was the last thing that made you laugh? Probably working with Harold and Kristian
34. What's the best dish you cook? I am just really starting to cook so I am not sure what the best is you would probably have to ask Phyllis since she is the taste tester of all my meals
35. Worst injury you've ever had? I hurt my foot and had to have surgery but it was not too terrible.
36. Do you love where you live? Love is such a big word. I like where I am for the moment.
37. How many TVs do you have in your house? 2
38. Who is your loudest friend? All my friends are loud and that is because we are always have fun wherever we are. So the one person that I get to laughing with and can not stop is Gail we always get funny looks when we go out.
39. Do you have any pets? Wait let me think....No, I don't have pets I have animal companions. Dogs - Tau & Kali, Teddy Bear Hamsters - Parker & Guinevere, Dwarf Hamsters - Lance & Pandora, Gerbil - Tommy, Guinea Pigs - Zara, Zoe, Mario & Rusty
40. Does someone have a crush on you? God I hope not
42. Favorite Sports Teams? I always say I hate sports because I do. But, if I think long and hard on it I can come up with a sport I like. So let me think a second.....nope I still hate sports.
43. What song do you want played at your funeral? I absolutely fanatically do not want a funeral. I am being cremated or donated to science whichever Joshua decides and then he and the family are to take a trip in my honor and remember me the way I want them to as the fun loving person I am.
Last week I got a new cage for one of the hammies. I gave it to Guinevere since she is the one who likes to make a run for it. I thought she would appreciate the new space. Well I was wrong; she had no desire to have a new space. So after several days of no interest I gave her back her old cage and gave Parker the new cage. To say she liked it would be an understatement.
For those who don't recall. I got Guinevere and Parker over the summer when they were about 6 or 7 weeks old. Up until about a month ago I did not see them too much (unless Guinie had escaped). They mostly slept. But recently they have started moving around more and being more active in the early evening. Parker and I have gotten to be good friends. She comes down and will take nuts out of my hand, we have spent time playing in the playpen, she has even gotten out of her cage and quietly let me put her back. She is a sweety. That is until last night.
Last night I gave Parker the new cage. She went from the sweet furry friend to Jungle Jane. She started climbing the sides of the cage all the way to the top and then dropping. It was giving me a heart attack. I thought maybe I had the tunnels too far off the ground for her to climb into. But, she proved me wrong and wiggled her furry ass up the the tunnel. Only to come down head first and fell onto her head when she dropped out. Was she hurt or dis-swayed from climbing again? Lord no, off she went again. It was like watching a 5 year old at the play ground.
This morning to my dismay I discovered she found a way out, just knocked the top of the sleeping area right off. I don't want to think how she got to the floor. The cage is a good 2 foot high, the sleeping area is another 12-15 inches above that and then she is on top of a 2 foot high bookcase. She is a good 5 feet off the ground. But she was on the ground under the bookcase and she did not want to go back in her cage. When I went to pick her up for the first time ever she bit the holy crap out of me.
Getting her back in her cage was an ordeal that left me feeling pissed and guilty all at the same time. The only way I could catch her without getting bit again, was to set a container over her. She hollered and hissed the entire time. Even Kali was a bit afraid of her. The only other time I have heard a hamster make noises was Franklin when I first got him. For a second or two I missed my little Franklin and his bad attitude. But for Parker, she continued to carry on her tantrum until I literally dropped her in the cage. She immediately ran to wheel and started running. This is a hamsters way of telling you they are stressed. I tried to feed her a nut but she would have nothing to do with me. So I left her alone to go and doctor my hand that was bleeding profusely.
Hopefully when I get home Parker will still be in her new cage and not roaming the room looking for a fight.
For those who don't recall. I got Guinevere and Parker over the summer when they were about 6 or 7 weeks old. Up until about a month ago I did not see them too much (unless Guinie had escaped). They mostly slept. But recently they have started moving around more and being more active in the early evening. Parker and I have gotten to be good friends. She comes down and will take nuts out of my hand, we have spent time playing in the playpen, she has even gotten out of her cage and quietly let me put her back. She is a sweety. That is until last night.
Last night I gave Parker the new cage. She went from the sweet furry friend to Jungle Jane. She started climbing the sides of the cage all the way to the top and then dropping. It was giving me a heart attack. I thought maybe I had the tunnels too far off the ground for her to climb into. But, she proved me wrong and wiggled her furry ass up the the tunnel. Only to come down head first and fell onto her head when she dropped out. Was she hurt or dis-swayed from climbing again? Lord no, off she went again. It was like watching a 5 year old at the play ground.
This morning to my dismay I discovered she found a way out, just knocked the top of the sleeping area right off. I don't want to think how she got to the floor. The cage is a good 2 foot high, the sleeping area is another 12-15 inches above that and then she is on top of a 2 foot high bookcase. She is a good 5 feet off the ground. But she was on the ground under the bookcase and she did not want to go back in her cage. When I went to pick her up for the first time ever she bit the holy crap out of me.
Getting her back in her cage was an ordeal that left me feeling pissed and guilty all at the same time. The only way I could catch her without getting bit again, was to set a container over her. She hollered and hissed the entire time. Even Kali was a bit afraid of her. The only other time I have heard a hamster make noises was Franklin when I first got him. For a second or two I missed my little Franklin and his bad attitude. But for Parker, she continued to carry on her tantrum until I literally dropped her in the cage. She immediately ran to wheel and started running. This is a hamsters way of telling you they are stressed. I tried to feed her a nut but she would have nothing to do with me. So I left her alone to go and doctor my hand that was bleeding profusely.
Hopefully when I get home Parker will still be in her new cage and not roaming the room looking for a fight.
It is hard to believe that Thanksgiving is next week and then Christmas. Lord the older I get the faster times goes by.
Growing up, Thanksgiving was one of my favorite holidays. It was all about family, food and fun and you were not expected to bring a gift. Being the one family member who did not cook I always got to bring sodas or paper plates. Which worked well for me.
When I was younger we would go to East Texas for Thanksgiving and any other time off we had from school. But once Debra came along and mom started working we no longer went up to East Texas and we had all the holidays at home.
I loved waking up on Thanksgiving morning because my mom was already cooking in the kitchen. You could smell everything already and it was great. We were early eaters having dinner around 2 or 3 in the afternoon. Everyone would come over and the eating would begin. I remember that we always had turkey and ham, cornbread stuffing (daddy's), bread stuffing (mom's), mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, green beans that were fresh and cooked the good ole southern way; too death with bacon and onion, corn, bread of some sort and several pies. Since we had more family than table space my daddy always put up a card table and turned the coffee table into the kids table. Those of us seeking a little peace with our meals went outside and sat on the trampoline.
As the boys (Joshua, Eric & Casey) got a little bigger we started taking them to the parade in Downtown Houston. They loved it, we all did. We would sit on the sidewalk with hot chocolate, donuts and the newspaper. The kids played together and the adults read the paper and just relaxed. Once the parade started it was just pure excitement. The boys love it. That is the part of Thanksgiving I miss not having the boys around. Of course the boys are now men but in my heart they will always be 9, 8, 7.
Once I left Texas the holidays were not the same. I miss my family terribly during the holidays, once Josh left I stopped celebrating them all together. Last year was my first Thanksgiving completely void of family. Josh was in Wyoming, I was single and my family was in Texas. Phyllis and I had our own holiday dinner and it was great. We are doing the same this year just adding a few more people. We will have all the traditional things, Turkey, mashed potatoes, baked sweet potatoes, corn, green beans, stuffing (we buy it from Cracker Barrel cause we can not figure out how to make it) and pumpkin pie. Tau and Kali will have their own Thanksgiving dinner of turkey and sweet potatoes. These are their favorites. Now I just have to fight everyone else at the grocery store this weekend to get ready for Thursday. Wish me luck.
Growing up, Thanksgiving was one of my favorite holidays. It was all about family, food and fun and you were not expected to bring a gift. Being the one family member who did not cook I always got to bring sodas or paper plates. Which worked well for me.
When I was younger we would go to East Texas for Thanksgiving and any other time off we had from school. But once Debra came along and mom started working we no longer went up to East Texas and we had all the holidays at home.
I loved waking up on Thanksgiving morning because my mom was already cooking in the kitchen. You could smell everything already and it was great. We were early eaters having dinner around 2 or 3 in the afternoon. Everyone would come over and the eating would begin. I remember that we always had turkey and ham, cornbread stuffing (daddy's), bread stuffing (mom's), mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, green beans that were fresh and cooked the good ole southern way; too death with bacon and onion, corn, bread of some sort and several pies. Since we had more family than table space my daddy always put up a card table and turned the coffee table into the kids table. Those of us seeking a little peace with our meals went outside and sat on the trampoline.
As the boys (Joshua, Eric & Casey) got a little bigger we started taking them to the parade in Downtown Houston. They loved it, we all did. We would sit on the sidewalk with hot chocolate, donuts and the newspaper. The kids played together and the adults read the paper and just relaxed. Once the parade started it was just pure excitement. The boys love it. That is the part of Thanksgiving I miss not having the boys around. Of course the boys are now men but in my heart they will always be 9, 8, 7.
Once I left Texas the holidays were not the same. I miss my family terribly during the holidays, once Josh left I stopped celebrating them all together. Last year was my first Thanksgiving completely void of family. Josh was in Wyoming, I was single and my family was in Texas. Phyllis and I had our own holiday dinner and it was great. We are doing the same this year just adding a few more people. We will have all the traditional things, Turkey, mashed potatoes, baked sweet potatoes, corn, green beans, stuffing (we buy it from Cracker Barrel cause we can not figure out how to make it) and pumpkin pie. Tau and Kali will have their own Thanksgiving dinner of turkey and sweet potatoes. These are their favorites. Now I just have to fight everyone else at the grocery store this weekend to get ready for Thursday. Wish me luck.
I am happy to report I did not have any nightmares about flying monkeys. I survived the night and feel like a new woman. Okay, that is taking the flying monkey fear a bit far but hey this is a monumental achievement for me. Did this mean I did not have any nightmares? Well of course not. Okay, I would not call them nightmares but more confusing than anything. In my world when I get a dream that is confusing it usually means I am suppose to be getting a message or lesson and I am not paying attention to it. Why can't messages and lessons be easy?
For the past several weeks I have been having a lot of dreams about #2 and #3. This is odd, because my instructions are no dreams about either of them. And for the most part it works. The dreams are not scary or romantic they are; as I said; confusing. I am usually attempting to talk to one of them and as always they are not receptive to my attempts at communication. Usually they both are living in the same house or are together. Which is just annoying. So this morning after yet another dream of trying to connect with #3 I wanted to know what the hell was going on. I am sick of waking up with a new feeling of dislike for these two people. Why did I insist on having them in my private time and my private dreams?
As I did my morning meditation and conversation with Z I asked what was going on. As always he was his usual evasive self but a little pushing got me what I wanted. Here is the layout of the conversation
Ziere (Z): You have come to the point in your journey that #2 and #3 (he actually uses their name and not a number. But, I am staying with the number)are now the same person.
Me: What?
Ziere (Z): Do not think of a person as the physical body. You know better than that. A body is simply a glamour of what they want you to see. Look past the glamour and see the spirit of the person, see their energy and their vibration. These men, as far as your are concerned are the same person in every way. Their vibration and energy will no longer be accepted by your vibration and energy, any time they enter your energy field you will feel uncomfortable because you are no longer compatible with their energy.
(IE, my explanation not theirs): Basically, have you ever stood next to someone and just felt creeped out or uncomfortable? Like you just wanted to move away from them? This is because something is off with their vibration and it is not meshing with yours. So your spirit wants to get away from them. This is what is going on with the ex's.
Me: Okay, so why the dreams? Why do I need to know this? And why disrupted my sleep with this information?
Ziere (Z): You need to know this so that those lingering feeling that you hide in your subconscious for both of these men will no longer be there. No matter what you have done up to this point in your life you have held a small grain of hope that something different would happen. Hate and dislike are emotions that only exists when you are awake. The dream plain is a dangerous place for someone who harbors emotions for another. By reminding you in your dreams of these two men you are seeing what they feel for you. Which is nothing. (a bit harsh don't you think). These men have walked away from you and will never return to you. They have no thoughts of you during their waking hours, they have no thoughts of you during their sleeping hours. They have completely voided you from their life. As a sensitive and an empath you do not do this on your own. You can not help but to keep a bit of people you share your emotions with. But like you do with the spirits you work with you must learn to release all pieces of these men and any man you come across in the future that is not the one for you.
Me: Okie Dokie.
So what does this tell me? That even though these men are out of my life they are not out of my subconscious. So that is my new goal to make sure they are out of my subconscious and that they stay out of it. I have already been told that if I ever get close to #2 again he will kill me. He is that much of a controlling possessive person. That knowledge pretty much keeps me away from him. Maybe this is something I need for #3 as well. Maybe I need to find out exactly what he would have done if we had stayed together. I think I will ask for that information. Should be interesting.
For the past several weeks I have been having a lot of dreams about #2 and #3. This is odd, because my instructions are no dreams about either of them. And for the most part it works. The dreams are not scary or romantic they are; as I said; confusing. I am usually attempting to talk to one of them and as always they are not receptive to my attempts at communication. Usually they both are living in the same house or are together. Which is just annoying. So this morning after yet another dream of trying to connect with #3 I wanted to know what the hell was going on. I am sick of waking up with a new feeling of dislike for these two people. Why did I insist on having them in my private time and my private dreams?
As I did my morning meditation and conversation with Z I asked what was going on. As always he was his usual evasive self but a little pushing got me what I wanted. Here is the layout of the conversation
Ziere (Z): You have come to the point in your journey that #2 and #3 (he actually uses their name and not a number. But, I am staying with the number)are now the same person.
Me: What?
Ziere (Z): Do not think of a person as the physical body. You know better than that. A body is simply a glamour of what they want you to see. Look past the glamour and see the spirit of the person, see their energy and their vibration. These men, as far as your are concerned are the same person in every way. Their vibration and energy will no longer be accepted by your vibration and energy, any time they enter your energy field you will feel uncomfortable because you are no longer compatible with their energy.
(IE, my explanation not theirs): Basically, have you ever stood next to someone and just felt creeped out or uncomfortable? Like you just wanted to move away from them? This is because something is off with their vibration and it is not meshing with yours. So your spirit wants to get away from them. This is what is going on with the ex's.
Me: Okay, so why the dreams? Why do I need to know this? And why disrupted my sleep with this information?
Ziere (Z): You need to know this so that those lingering feeling that you hide in your subconscious for both of these men will no longer be there. No matter what you have done up to this point in your life you have held a small grain of hope that something different would happen. Hate and dislike are emotions that only exists when you are awake. The dream plain is a dangerous place for someone who harbors emotions for another. By reminding you in your dreams of these two men you are seeing what they feel for you. Which is nothing. (a bit harsh don't you think). These men have walked away from you and will never return to you. They have no thoughts of you during their waking hours, they have no thoughts of you during their sleeping hours. They have completely voided you from their life. As a sensitive and an empath you do not do this on your own. You can not help but to keep a bit of people you share your emotions with. But like you do with the spirits you work with you must learn to release all pieces of these men and any man you come across in the future that is not the one for you.
Me: Okie Dokie.
So what does this tell me? That even though these men are out of my life they are not out of my subconscious. So that is my new goal to make sure they are out of my subconscious and that they stay out of it. I have already been told that if I ever get close to #2 again he will kill me. He is that much of a controlling possessive person. That knowledge pretty much keeps me away from him. Maybe this is something I need for #3 as well. Maybe I need to find out exactly what he would have done if we had stayed together. I think I will ask for that information. Should be interesting.
I am watching the most terrifying movie ever made. You may be wondering what it is...Poltergeist, Friday the 13th, The Shining, Saw (1-5)? No it is none of these "modern day" horror movies. This horror movie was made in 1939. In 1939 they released such horror films as "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" "Son of Frankenstein" "The Hounds of Baskerville" and the worst movie of all times "Gone With The Wind". Okay, it is not the worst movie of all times, but it ranks high up there. I never watched this movie completely until last year with my dad. Why? Because I would have bitch slapped Ms. Scarlett in the first 20 minutes of the movie. What an annoying character. So back to my point. What is the horror movie I am subjecting myself to tonight? "THE WIZARD OF OZ"
Now once you stop laughing at me let me explain why this is the most terrifying movie of all times. Because of these...... 
FLYING MONKEYS
FLYING MONKEYSFirst off, I have this horrible fear of monkeys, they are just evil. Just look at one of them and you will see the evil in their eyes. Now Gorilla's are something different you look in their eyes and you just know they know. It is creepy. But monkeys have scared the hell out of me for my entire life. I do believe it started with seeing Planet of the Apes as a small child. Every year when the Wizard of Oz would come on TV my mom would make us all sit down and watch it. It was a good family program, she was not aware of the fact that the monkeys scared the crap out of me.
She also did not know that I personally sided with the Wicked Witch. Some crazy farm girl dropped a house on her sister and what did she get for sympathy? A bunch of little people singing and dancing and being lead by the evil Barbie Witch. She just wanted some love but did she get it? NO, those evil little people dressed up like a bunch of weirdos on Halloween in West Hollywood laughed at her and chased her off. I would be pissed to.
Tonight I have gone through so many channels with nothing on that I saw The Wizard of Oz was on so I figured "what the hell". I think you have to be on some serious crack in order for this movie to make any sense what so ever. I did fine until the dreaded flying monkeys. But I survived the ordeal and hopefully I won't have any nightmares about those damn monkeys.
One more look and they are still evil.
She also did not know that I personally sided with the Wicked Witch. Some crazy farm girl dropped a house on her sister and what did she get for sympathy? A bunch of little people singing and dancing and being lead by the evil Barbie Witch. She just wanted some love but did she get it? NO, those evil little people dressed up like a bunch of weirdos on Halloween in West Hollywood laughed at her and chased her off. I would be pissed to.
Tonight I have gone through so many channels with nothing on that I saw The Wizard of Oz was on so I figured "what the hell". I think you have to be on some serious crack in order for this movie to make any sense what so ever. I did fine until the dreaded flying monkeys. But I survived the ordeal and hopefully I won't have any nightmares about those damn monkeys.
One more look and they are still evil.
This has been one of the weirdest week I have had in a long time. First off the full moon was on Thursday and I completely forgot. I never forget a full moon. But there I was driving home from work and watching this gorgeous full moon rise over the mountains. I am still a little stunned that I forgot the full moon. Anyway, this week has been filled with just about every emotion I have from happy to sad and all of those in between.
On the upside of the week, I heard from my friends Dave & Sharon Oester who founded and run the International Ghost Hunters Society (www.ghostweb.com). I meet Dave and Sharon many years ago when they held their annual ghost conference here in Albuquerque. They just happened to be in New Mexico taking care of some business and conducting a few investigations while they were here. They were trying out a new piece of equipment to get EVP (electronic voice phenomena) at Fort Craig and the Missions in southern New Mexico. These are all places we have done many ghost hunts in the past and Fort Craig was always one of the best for paranormal experiences. I called my fellow ghost hunter and another friend of Dave and Sharon's, Jerry Santoniello and we drove down to Socorro Thursday evening and spent the most wonderful few hours together. I have not seen them in about 3 years and did not know how much I missed Dave and Sharon until I was hugging Sharon hello.
They were a bit shocked to learn about me and #3, like most of our mutual friends they knew us when we were happy and could not imagine anything changing that. It is always hard to tell mutual friends about our split and try to stay civil when talking about him, but I try...sort of. But we ended the evening promising each other that will not wait 3 years to see one another again. They are currently residing in Kingman Arizona and we all know how much I love a road trip. So I promised that as soon as winter was over I would head to Kingman for some serious ghost hunting. Until then Jerry has gotten the new equipment and we are planning on doing some EVP recording hopefully, this coming weekend. First place we hit is the mortuary second place is my house. I want to know who tossed the entire roll of toilet paper into the toilet and not the cheap toilet paper either the expensive Charmin. Someones ghostly head is going to roll for that.
My week started off okay and went down hill by Wednesday. First off on Wednesday I got a call from Joshua saying that his grandpa Kurt had passed away over night. This was a total shock to everyone. No one was expecting this and we were all taken completely by surprise. Joshua flew to Houston with his dad and family to be with his grandma Pat. The worst feeling in the world is to have your child hurting and upset and you can not do anything about it. I talk to Joshua everyday and he says he is doing okay but as someone who has dealt with the death of a loved one you know the emotions that are involved and you also know it is not easy to deal with no matter how well rounded you are. They held a visitation Friday evening that my parents attended and then had a service in La Porte on Saturday they will then transport Kurt to his families hometown of Strawn Texas for burial. I realized that this was an ordeal that Joshua would have to deal with on his own with his father and his family. This was not something that I needed to get involved with. So I am putting the emotional and mental well being of my child in the hands of others and I don't do this well.
They were a bit shocked to learn about me and #3, like most of our mutual friends they knew us when we were happy and could not imagine anything changing that. It is always hard to tell mutual friends about our split and try to stay civil when talking about him, but I try...sort of. But we ended the evening promising each other that will not wait 3 years to see one another again. They are currently residing in Kingman Arizona and we all know how much I love a road trip. So I promised that as soon as winter was over I would head to Kingman for some serious ghost hunting. Until then Jerry has gotten the new equipment and we are planning on doing some EVP recording hopefully, this coming weekend. First place we hit is the mortuary second place is my house. I want to know who tossed the entire roll of toilet paper into the toilet and not the cheap toilet paper either the expensive Charmin. Someones ghostly head is going to roll for that.
If you have known me longer than a minute you probably know that one of my very best friends here in Albuquerque is Eddie. Eddie and I worked together (more like survived together) at Mesa and have remained friends since I left. Eddie is one of the greatest guys I know and I absolutely adore him. One of Eddie's hobby is he is working on his modeling portfolio. He has done a few modeling sessions and one part in a movie. Although, I don't know what became of the movie; I'll have to ask.
PS: Ladies, my sister Debra claims rights to Eddie. She says she claimed him years ago and will fight for her right to oggle him.
Eddie, what ever became of the movie you were an extra in?
Back to the post. Recently Eddie had a modeling session and sent me some pictures from it and with his permission I am posting them here. Take a good look at that tattoo on his back it took a few years to complete and me rubbing a lot of baby butt paste on it. But it looks good.
I told Kyle I would post this on the blog because it is a monumental achievement. We went to dinner tonight at Pacific Rim Asian Bistro. I have been wanting to go there for a few weeks and we were finally able to get our schedules together and go. I of course wanted to try their General Tso's chicken, I always try this at the Asian restaurants to see if it is worth having again and theirs was very good; nice and spicy. Kyle had some version of duck.
Here is the achievement part, he knows I am a big baby when it comes to trying new foods. Basically, I don't try new foods. He wanted me to try the California Roll but that was not going to happen. However, I did try the Miso Soup and his duck. Here is the kicker...I am still here. I did not gross out both were good, okay the Miso soup was a bit odd but still edible. The duck I had trouble identifying what part of the duck it was but it was still good.
Needless to say we were both rather proud of me for trying something different. I was not brave enough to attempt the sushi, the sushi menu read like my biology class. It was not good, it was just yuck.
Oh yeah and the waiter was a real cutie. I forgot to ask what team he played on for Harold but I think he was on my team.
Have a good weekend.
Here is the achievement part, he knows I am a big baby when it comes to trying new foods. Basically, I don't try new foods. He wanted me to try the California Roll but that was not going to happen. However, I did try the Miso Soup and his duck. Here is the kicker...I am still here. I did not gross out both were good, okay the Miso soup was a bit odd but still edible. The duck I had trouble identifying what part of the duck it was but it was still good.
Needless to say we were both rather proud of me for trying something different. I was not brave enough to attempt the sushi, the sushi menu read like my biology class. It was not good, it was just yuck.
Oh yeah and the waiter was a real cutie. I forgot to ask what team he played on for Harold but I think he was on my team.
Have a good weekend.
Well it’s finally over with. The presidential elections have come and gone and I do not have to hear the saying “I’m so and so and I approve this message” for another couple of years. I don’t have to listen to radio ads or tv ads were they bash the other person anymore. And for that I am grateful.
I never expected how emotional this election would be for me. I try not to be an overly emotional person; try being the operative word in this sentence. But watching the events unfold last night was simply agonizing. So I did not watch anything on TV. Kyle emailed me when CNN and CBS announced Obama as the possible winner and Harold called me to tell me. he won So my friends kept me updated.
I can say this morning when I woke up and realized Obama was our new president I was so emotional and excited at the same time. In all my years of being able to vote I have never been passionate about one candidate or another, it was always picking the lesser of the two evils. But, every since Obama won his seat in the Senate I have really liked him; I like his persona, his energy, and most of all his vibration. And his youngest daughter is absolutely hysterically funny.
This election crossed more boundaries that as American’s we like to think do not exist. But, even in the 21st century many American’s based their entire beliefs based on the color of a person's skin and whether they are male or female. Some American’s still have very deep feelings about what a woman can and can not do in this world and some still feel that unless you are white you have no rights to the American dream. I can only hope that this election will help kill those thoughts and beliefs for good.
During this election season we saw Hilary Clinton and Sarah Palin do a great job representing women in politics. They both gave 110% to their respected parties and for that I admire both of these ladies. Barack Obama did what no one could do and that was prove that Americans are able and ready to elect an African American into the White House. Americans told the world that we trust him to lead us into the future. We are entrusting him with the task of re building the credibility of America with the entire world. I know a lot of American’s think that if another country does not like us that is fine we should ignore them and never deal with them again. That may work in high school but not in the real world. In the real world we have to deal with other countries and their leaders, whether we believe in their way of life or not. So to have countries that see us as an enemy is not a good thing. 9/11 can happen again and if we have bad relations with other countries it is only giving their people more reasons to strike out at us.
On the radio this morning someone said “Doesn’t the world feel different today?” and it does. For the first time in many years I feel a difference, I feel like there is hope for America out there. I feel like we can now start the process of bringing our soldiers back home to their families and let those countries rebuild on their own. I feel like we can start to fix our education system so that our kids are not the dumbest ones on the planet. I feel like we can start to once again take care of our own people first and start rebuilding our economy so that the middle class (most of us) can actually save some money for the future instead of living pay check to pay check.
All I can say is this is how I am feeling today, November 5, 2008 and I hope this time next year, the year after that and all the way until 2012 I will still feel the same way.
I never expected how emotional this election would be for me. I try not to be an overly emotional person; try being the operative word in this sentence. But watching the events unfold last night was simply agonizing. So I did not watch anything on TV. Kyle emailed me when CNN and CBS announced Obama as the possible winner and Harold called me to tell me. he won So my friends kept me updated.
I can say this morning when I woke up and realized Obama was our new president I was so emotional and excited at the same time. In all my years of being able to vote I have never been passionate about one candidate or another, it was always picking the lesser of the two evils. But, every since Obama won his seat in the Senate I have really liked him; I like his persona, his energy, and most of all his vibration. And his youngest daughter is absolutely hysterically funny.
This election crossed more boundaries that as American’s we like to think do not exist. But, even in the 21st century many American’s based their entire beliefs based on the color of a person's skin and whether they are male or female. Some American’s still have very deep feelings about what a woman can and can not do in this world and some still feel that unless you are white you have no rights to the American dream. I can only hope that this election will help kill those thoughts and beliefs for good.
During this election season we saw Hilary Clinton and Sarah Palin do a great job representing women in politics. They both gave 110% to their respected parties and for that I admire both of these ladies. Barack Obama did what no one could do and that was prove that Americans are able and ready to elect an African American into the White House. Americans told the world that we trust him to lead us into the future. We are entrusting him with the task of re building the credibility of America with the entire world. I know a lot of American’s think that if another country does not like us that is fine we should ignore them and never deal with them again. That may work in high school but not in the real world. In the real world we have to deal with other countries and their leaders, whether we believe in their way of life or not. So to have countries that see us as an enemy is not a good thing. 9/11 can happen again and if we have bad relations with other countries it is only giving their people more reasons to strike out at us.
On the radio this morning someone said “Doesn’t the world feel different today?” and it does. For the first time in many years I feel a difference, I feel like there is hope for America out there. I feel like we can now start the process of bringing our soldiers back home to their families and let those countries rebuild on their own. I feel like we can start to fix our education system so that our kids are not the dumbest ones on the planet. I feel like we can start to once again take care of our own people first and start rebuilding our economy so that the middle class (most of us) can actually save some money for the future instead of living pay check to pay check.
All I can say is this is how I am feeling today, November 5, 2008 and I hope this time next year, the year after that and all the way until 2012 I will still feel the same way.
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