RIP Little Mama

Our little mama hamster passed away on Saturday, June 20th after suffering a stroke the week before. Mama was getting better but her little body just could not bounce back and she quietly passed away with all her hamster friends around her.

As it usually is with the most abused ones I get in Mama was the sweetest little hamster. Even though she was rather old and just did not have the energy the younger ones did; she was always nice and never grumpy and never once bit out of anger.

Mama whose actual name was Kwan Yin was never a fan of the wheel or ball, once she was in the sanctuary she had to learn how to be a hamster and since she was advanced in age her bones were not as limber as the younger ones. She was not able to bend her back to climb into cubby holes and she did not have the strength in her legs to support her if she climbed up on things. She enjoyed getting out and walking around on the table and once in awhile she would run in her ball. But, for the most part she was a home body and just enjoyed being in a nice quiet environment where she was loved and nurtured.

We buried Mama and the ashes of Tunie and Franklin in the new Buddha Garden in my courtyard, where they are watched over by Buddha and the Goddess. Mama will be greatly missed by me and the other critters but we all know she is much happier in Summerland where she is out of pain and only knows pure happiness and joy.

Happy Faux Birthday

Growing up I hated having my birthday in January. As I got older I really hated having my birthday in January. Even though as kids my mom and dad always had a birthday party for me and even to this day they always send me a card and gifts. But having a birthday in January sucks. Nobody wants to celebrate with you. People complain when their birthday is before or around Christmas. But seriously they have it made. If your birthday is in December you can force people to celebrate your birthday. You can stipulate that they can not give you one gift for both holidays. But, when your birthday is in January you are simply shit out of luck.

Every year I get the phone calls saying "we would have gotten you something for your birthday but the bills from Christmas just came in and we are broke" or "we would love to celebrate your birthday with you but we are on a diet after all the junk food we ate over the holidays." These are real excuses I get from people. I have actually given up on ever hoping to have an adult birthday party.

Way back in the day when I was a young teen I got fed up with my January birthday and decided that I would change it to June 19th. Nothing happened in June, we were out of school, and it would be perfect. I told my parents I wanted to change my birthday and they did not go for it. My dad told me I could not have my birthday on June 19th because that was Juneteenth. This was back in the day when my daddy was just a tad bit prejudice about the African American community. So my parents shot down my suggestion of a new birthday. But that did not stop me from declaring that my new birthday was June 19th. As the years went by I ended up creating my own day in June, which we all know is June 11th. But my Juneteenth birthday still exists.

I just got my first birthday greeting from my sister. A few years ago when my mom called to wish me Happy Birthday in January my dad actual said "I thought her birthday was in June" so even though they declared I could not change my birthday in their minds I did so. So as all the African American's celebrate Junetenth I will be celebrating my faux birthday along side them.

Sanctuary Update

It has been a bit since I updated everyone on the lives of the hamsters. Things have been fairly slow for the hamsters. There have been no new ones brought in since about February or March. Which, is good since I have no room for any more.

At the moment everyone, except the guinea pigs are living in their summer quarters which is my sun room. It is warmer than the actual house and they have much more room out there. I am down to only 2 guinea pigs, Zara and Zoe. Teddy and Swirl were reunited with their family a few weeks ago. I was sad to see them go but knew how excited Vikki was to get them back in her house.

The last members to join to group (I think) were 5 baby Russian Campbell hamsters born on February 5th. Unlike, the big Syrian hamsters the dwarf hamsters can live together and usually prefer to have a companion. However, once they have been separated it is almost impossible to get them to live with another one again. These 5 boys came together and lived together in a huge aquarium. However, after a few days they started beating up on the two smallest brothers. So the small ones were removed and the three bigger ones were adopted out together. I decided to keep the two smaller ones to see if they were in fact able to be a good pet or if they were just mean by nature. Having Lakshmi aka Satan, knowing he was never abused or hurt being so mean I was curious. I named the two boys Raja, Hindu for King and Raavi, Hindu for Sun. Raja is a light grey in color with fire red eyes and Raavi is a dark grey with dark red eyes. I held these guys every day from the day I got them. Hand fed them, hand dusted them, everything and one day out of the blue Raavi turned into a mini Satan. Raja became very skittish and would not let you touch him or in most instances even see him.

About a week ago, I noticed that the two boys were fighting a lot, it seemed to be all they did. They fought over who would go through the tunnel first, who would get food first, everything. Earlier this week, I discovered that Raavi had beaten the crap out of his brother so their cages were immediately separated and they live as bachelors now. Raja was thrilled to have his own place, Raavi on the other hand was mad as a wet cat when he discovered his whipping boy was no longer available. I now refer to him as Evil Jr.

Mama had a stroke over the weekend and I did not expect her to live past Saturday night. I noticed on Friday that she was not really herself but she is a pretty solitary hamster. On Saturday when I returned from Pridefest,she was not walking very well and just did not look good. I called Phyllis and we started the process of sending her Reiki and energy to help her transition to the other side. Sunday morning came and she was in bad shape, she could not walk at all, she could not use her back legs and was having a hard time breathing. On top of that, I noticed she was infested with mites. The main thing to do at this point was get the mites off of her so she could be more comfortable. So in her fragile state she got a nice warm bath and a quick dip. I put her in a basket with lots of warm blankets and towels and just kept her by my side so she was not alone. Every hour or so I would try to get her to drink water but for the most part she did not want anything. I discovered that if I did not let her curl up in a ball (which is their tendency) she could breath much better.

Monday came and she was still with me, so I packed her up and took her to work. She sat on my desk and I continued the ritual of giving her water whenever she would take it and by the end of Monday she was taking water on her own. By the time I got home Monday night she was taking small bits of fruit. Tuesday she went to work again and by this time everyone was stopping by to see her. She hated this, most hamster do not like to be woke up. And Mama is no exception. In fact she was getting really nasty about it and would threaten to bite anyone who looked at her. By Tuesday night she was eating on her own and drinking on her own.

She is still very wobbly on her feet, but she can use all 4 legs now and is drinking and eating on her own. I worry terribly about her, but I also know that she is a aging hamster and will not live forever.

As for everyone else they are all still there and still the same. Sasha is still as prissy as ever, Parker is still the stud of the group and is in love with which ever girl he can get to at the moment. Guini is still Guini, he is bitchy when he escapes from his cage and can't get back in. Apparently this is my fault and he screams at me when I find him. Tommy the gerbil is getting a new baby boy this weekend to hopefully be his friend. Dharma the mouse is still there and still as cute and happy as ever. Laki is still evil and nasty and I would toss him out but I am afraid he will break my door down and come back in. Lance and Pandora my dwarf's are good. Although, Lance is getting up there in age and is now kind of batty. Zara and Zoe the piggies are back in the living room where they like to be, high on a table where Kali can't bother them. They adjusted fine to their friends leaving. Tau and Kali will never change, although Tau has all the sudden turned into a lover and wants to sit in your lap and have you cuddle him. He has not been this way since he was a tiny baby. But he turned 5 and reverted. Kali is still just as in charge of the house as she ever was. Nothing get past our girl. They are going to Carlsbad and White Sands Desert this weekend so I will have some pictures for you next week.

The Single Girl and a HIV Test

If you have never experienced a Gay Pride celebration it is something you have to do before you die. The Gay/Lesbian community celebrate like no other group out there. While we were at the festival we decided to take advantage of the free HIV testing they were doing. Even though I was 95% sure it was negative, you never know.

To get started you fill out a form that asks the usual questions: Name, address, age, sexual orientation. I am pretty sure I was one of a few who checked the hetro box. They then ask you on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest what do you consider your risk level to be. I had no idea. So I left that line blank. We had to wait about 30 minutes to get in but when I did I was so nervous. Even though I knew it was negative I was still nervous.

The nurse I had was so nice and sweet and was in the air conditioned van. She looked over my form and asked why I did not rate my risk level. I looked at her and told her "I have no idea what it would be." She was so nice, she told me that we were going to look over my lifestyle and past sexual history and make a decision based on that information. I told her I have been married 3 times. I knew that as of 1994 I was negative because it was tested when I got pregnant. Since then I have had 2 encounters with men that I was not married to. She asked if I was 100% positive that #3 was faithful to me. All I could tell her was that he said he was, but then again he said he loved me too. So based on that I now consider anything said by him to be a lie. So no I was not a 100% sure that he was faithful and even if he was he has had more relationships in his life than a I can count. So he probably has a higher risk than I do.

Being the kind person she was she did not even flinch when I said this. Even when she saw that it upset me just a bit to admit it out loud. She simply said "We never trust them after they break our hearts. So you are okay not trusting him. And you are doing the right thing by getting tested."

The next step is they take some blood from your finger, like they do when you donate blood. The prick the end and fill this little vial with a certain amount of blood. It sounded so easy and probably was for the other 1000 people who got tested. But for some reason, my body refused to bleed. She pricked my finger and a drop of blood came out and that was it. She got a bigger pricker thingy and did another finger and a drop of blood came out. She showed me where we needed to fill the vial to and suggested maybe standing up would help the blood flow faster. So I stood up...nothing. Finally after much squeezing she got just enough to put on the test strip. Now you wait 10 minutes. This was the longest 10 minutes of my life. But, while the test was going I asked a few questions about how the disease is transmitted and how it was treated.

This was the fun part, I explained that I have not dated much in the past 20 years. So I am a bit of a novice on the intimate level of dating. I asked how is it appropriate to ask a potential partner if they are disease free. Apparently this is a common thing in the homo world. Her answer was so funny, she said once I was comfortable in a relationship and we have decided we want to forgo protection you take them to a clinic and get tested and you wait for the results. She told me "never take their word for it that they are clean. If you can't trust a man you were married to an felt you knew pretty well than why would you trust someone you had only known for a short time. See the test results for yourself in black and white and from the clinic not the person." Apparently you are not suppose to trust anyone. Which works well for me since I don't trust anyone.

When all was said and done and I had my clean bill of health and was updated on my Hepatitis shot (cause you do that at a gay festival too) I talked to Harold about it and he said that many gays advertise disease free. So I will keep my clean bill of health and before I have any kind of encounter with a man I will ask to see his, since this is the new dating format I want to make sure I do it right.

For now however, I think I am going to stay single for a while longer. The whole testing for disease before you get intimate is just a bit much for me.

Happy Pride Everyone

Today was the big Albuquerque Pridefest parade and festival. I am exhausted so I will write more about it later. But just know it was so amazingly wonderful. And I have so many details and things to tell you. But it will have to wait until tomorrow.

Latest Adventure Coming Up

For the last few years for Joshua's birthday we have taken a trip. First to the Grand Canyon, last year I went up there and this year he is here so we have decided to take a trip to Monterey, California together. I am so excited about my upcoming trip. This is some place that I have never been and have always wanted to go. I have been to California a few times, I have been to San Diego, San Jose, San Francisco, Ventura and drove through LA. But I have always wanted to go to Monterey because of Monterey Bay.

Monterey Bay has just about everything a marine lover could want. They have whales, dolphins, otters, seals and most importantly great white sharks. For the past 4 or 5 years Monterey Bay Aquarium has been able to exhibit a great white shark in their Outer Bay Aquarium. The sharks have all been caught in fishing nets and they are all infants. The aquarium has been able to house them in the exhibit and learn so much from them that you can not get in the wild. Once the shark is large enough and starts to exhibit their natural tendency to hunt they release it back into the bay. Last year the one they had was only on exhibit a few weeks it would not eat properly and so it was released in back into the wild. I am hoping and begging all the Gods that they have one for me to see while I am there. The only definite plans I know of besides the aquarium is a sailing trip that Joshua was interested in.

My plan is to leave Albuquerque on September 2nd and drive as far as we can. It is only 1000 miles so I can do it easily in one day if I want to. But we are not rushing it. We will spend Friday sailing and going to the aquarium. Saturday and Sunday we will just explore and see what we can find and head home on Monday. This will be the best trip I have had in a long time. It will just be me and Joshua and Phyllis if she wants to come. The dogs are staying home for this trip. I have a co worker who is a pet sitter on the side. She will live at my house while I am gone and take care of all the animals. This way Tau & Kali do not have to spend any time in a kennel while we enjoy the bay and aquarium. They will be much happier at home being pampered.

This will definitely be an adventure, Joshua and I will be traveling to a part of the country neither of us have been before and we are doing it on our own. Which means I have to start really studying the maps on mapquest to determine the best routes to take. I want routes with little construction delays and detours. That way I am not wasting time sitting in traffic.

If anyone of you have been out this way send me an email with ideas on things to do while we are there.

Don't you just want to kiss that little face?

The Wonders of B12

Last week I went to my doctor because I was sick. It was odd really, I never go because I am sick. I am always going for some strange affliction but never just because I am sick. But I went to bed last Monday with a sore throat and it did not go away so I decided to pay a visit to her and see what the heck was going on. Metaphysically I knew that I originally got the sore throat because I was not voicing my thoughts to someone here at work. Thereby I created a sore throat by holding those thoughts in. But, I had to explain to my body that sometimes it is best not to say what is on my mind and just keep it to myself. After this realization the sore throat should have gone away, but it did not.

When I arrived at the doctors office there were notes everywhere about "the flu" it said if you have any of the following symptoms tell them immediately. The symptoms were, sore throat, muscle aches, coughing, etc. I was a bit nervous because I currently had 5 out of the 8 symptoms. But I did not panic, because I just don't usually panic about medical issues. Anyway, I saw the doctor found out I had a simply sinus infection that was pretty much going away on its own. She was concerned that I was so tired and that my surgeon had reported to her that my blood pressure was low on all three visits to her including the day of my surgery, when it should have been slightly elevated. So she suggested that I start taking B12 and B6.

If you have never taken B12 it is a tiny little pill you put under your tongue once a day. Within 20 minutes I could feel the effect of this little wonder pill. I was no longer tired and no longer sleepy. I felt good. I could actually do things and not get tired or lose interest. It's like taking Prince Valium only you don't get wigged out. So all week I have been sorting through things at my house and actually having fun doing it.

Last night I started cleaning out my craft closet which I now refer to as the crap closet. Because I have so much crap in there it is frightening. One thing I did find in the closet was all the clothes for the dogs. All of Kali's cute dresses she won't wear and Tau's cute coats and tshirts he loves to wear. And since it is Pride week in Albuquerque and Tau is a gay dog. I dressed him up and paraded him down the sidewalk in his own Parade of the Queens show. My favorite was the pink dress with pink crystals, sequined collar and big pink flower (this was actually Kali's but she hated it). I dressed my dog in drag and he loved it. He ran up and down the sidewalk with his mommy telling him to "Strut his gay self" "Be proud of the gay dog you are" and on and on. I am pretty sure my neighbors are going to leave me alone for awhile I think I scared them a bit. But we had fun and it is all because the B12 gave me enough energy to play when I got home.

It's My Day

Today is June 11th, My Day. The day that I take every year (except for 1) and do nothing but celebrate being me and all that I want to do.

I am not really sure other than working what I am going to do but I will enjoy it no matter what it is. My guess is it will involve shopping for either shoes or a bowl. Either way I will let everyone know what I did later on.

Have a great June 11th.

Awakening from a long nap

Somewhere between January 1, 2000 and June 1, 2007 I lost myself. Not technically as in I could not locate my body; I'm nuts but not that nuts. I mean spiritually and emotionally. The part of me that makes me who I am took a much needed vacation. In fact she took a 7 year vacation. I am now just realizing this. As that spiritual part of me returns so do the little things that make me happy. Those little things that I put away and forgot about.

It started a few weeks ago on one of Saturdays off. No one wanted to come outside and play with me so I decided to just wander around town and find something to do. Out of no where I decided that I wanted to shop for bowls. You know the kind you use in the kitchen for mixing and serving? The ones your mom and grandma had when you were little. For me, these bowls held love and comfort. They were always there in my mom's kitchen and in my grandma's kitchen. Every time I went into their house I knew the bowls were there. They were colorful and pretty and strangely for me they symbolized stability. So I went to find bowls and I spent the better part of an afternoon wandering around an old junk store on 4th street happy as a loon.

I went from booth to booth looking, touching, feeling and investigating everything they had. Some of it was just plain junk, some things I had no idea what they were, and then some of the things I would have loved to have in my house. But my mission was bowls. I found crystal bowls, jadeite bowls, Pyrex bowls and bowls of various colors and shapes. I found one huge white ceramic bowl that I really liked and one that is just weird bowl that reminded me of the 70's. I got my two bowls and left the store happy and content.

As the days moved on and I started to remember the things that bring joy into my life. The things that matter to no one but me. I realized I had put all that away. I don't know why I did it. Maybe because I knew that #3 would have no interest in my fun of shopping for all the crap from the 50's. Maybe I jut did not want to have to justify why I wanted a bright pink platter to anyone but myself. Whatever the reasons was it was time for that part of me to re-emerge from her nap.

So for the past several weeks, I stay on the look for bowls, platters, furniture, anything that makes me happy when I see it. Anything that makes me stop and go "Oh I love that". If I like it and can afford it I get it for myself and for my own happiness. I am loving the peace that I have when I stop in my kitchen and see my huge bowl, my 70's bowl, my peacock blue Gumbo bowl, my pink and turquoise platters these make me happy. And I hope to find more happiness shopping for bowls in every town I come to.

What Will June Bring

June has started off with a big bang. Joshua has decided that he is moving to Albuquerque. Now he has said this many times over the last few weeks but he is set on it now. I expect him here sometime this month. For me this is a nice turn of events. I love spending time with him and he is a ton of fun to travel with. I am not sure if he will be here in time to visit with his grandparents or not but he should be here in time to celebrate the 4th of July wth me.

June 3rd was my brother Jerry's 34th birthday. With all the problems he has experienced this year he deserved a great birthday and I hope he got it.

Yesterday, French's had their annual family day at Cliff's Amusement Park. Of course, I went with the "mo" and we had BBQ dinner and then I went to go ride some rides. Unfortunately I also have a sinus infection and it was not possible to ride anything that turned me upside down without my head exploding. I did however, want to ride one ride they had that I saw on their website. It is called the sidewinder. Heres a picture of it.

Now, it swings from side to side but while it is swinging the round car part is spinning in circles. It was so much fun, it was as close to flying as I was able to come. It was not a jerky ride so it was easy for me to close my eyes and just go with the motion and feeling. It was GREAT. Can't wait to do that one again. I think when Josh get's here we are hitting Cliff's so I can go on the rides that turn you upside down.

Next week (June 12-14) is Pridefest 2009. Harold and I already have our tickets. My Lesbian alter ego, Natalya will be joining him for the parade and festival. That is going to be a very wild day but lots of fun. I am just trying to decide what to wear. Being new to the whole alter ego, Lesbian side, I am not sure what to go with. I did figure out that my alter ego would never be a butch Lesbian, I can't do work boots, so I have to stick with a Lipstick Lesbian since that is what I can do. But, I am sure I will have more new experiences to share with everyone when that weekend ends. Unless I drink too much and I can't remember it. Then Harold will have to share the details with you.

June 11th is the big day. It is "My Day" and the day I do my soul retreival. I am actually looking forward to it and I have been preparing for almost 2 months now, so I will be ready and willing come Thursday.

A big day in June for Pagans is the Summer Solstice on June 21st. It is the longest day of the year, the halfway point between the Winter Solstice and the Summer Solstice. The days will slowly start to get shorter after the 21st. It is also one of the more powerful days to do spell work. Even though I will be in Carlsbad with my Mom and Daddy I plan on taking a few mintues to do a little ritual casting, to help with a few bad apples in my bunch. Even though I have already done binding to keep them from harming me or sending negativity to me, the ritual I do on the 21st will just add strength to it. Fear not, young campers. Our motto is "Harm None" so no matter how much I would like to turn people into frogs hanging on the end of a fishing pole, I can't do that.

So as I end my first week in June I am happy and content. I am enjoying my continued nesting of my house, even though I know somewhere down the road there will be a move, I like the idea of surrounding myself with things I like and enjoy. Poor Josh he gets to come into my house of crazy chaos. I think his sanity will last about 48 hours and he will be just as nuts as his mother.