As I said last year I do not make New Years Resolutions. I have enough problems I don’t need to set myself up for more disappointment when I do not keep them. But, each year I do like to stop and reflect on the previous year and years before it and think about ways to fix my life or make it better.
For 2008 my only thought was to survive better than I did in 2007 and I was successful in that. 2008 was no where near as bad as 2007, I grew as a person and learned once again how to be my own person and not rely on anyone else. I missed that part of me. I missed the part that knew how to survive and fix the plumbing when I needed to. I had allowed myself to rely on #3 and it backfired on me and I needed to learn once again how to rely on me and only me. I know it sounds harsh and some of you are thinking that it is sad. But for me it is the way I have lived my entire life up until 2000. It was my safety net knowing that I could do just about anything I needed to and it did not require asking a man for advice or help. So I am happy to see the self reliant, dependent Cindy back. I missed her.
For 2009 I want to live my life to the fullest everyday. This means that 2009 is the year of doing nothing. You know how the Chinese have Year of the Dog, Cat, Chicken, Rodent, Bug, Squirrel, etc. Well this is Cindy’s Year of Doing Nothing. This means that I am going to work on not doing anything for people that do not appreciate it or respect me. I started that today by severing the last and final string that attached #3 and me; 2009 will start #3 free. I told my mother that I would not be attending my nephew’s birthday party because it is held at a skating rink and if I did not do that when Joshua was a kid I certainly was not starting now. But, after Christmas I realized that my actions towards my nephews are not appreciated by my sister. It is just expected so this year we will stop that and have a normal aunt/nephew/niece relationship. They are not my children and I do not need to worry about their future or lives. It does no good to do so anyway.
As far as the funeral home goes, I am no longer going to be the go to person when someone wants a day off or calls in sick. Unless I want to work extra I am not, it is not appreciated by the company, but they come to expect me to be available at the drop of a hat and get upset when I am not. I am hoping to that 2009 will be much calmer and sedate than 2008 in 365 days when we revisit this day I am sure I will be telling you how wonderful I did in 2009.
Okay, one can hope.