Every since I was old enough to understand that everyone has different opinions on religion & politics I decided that these two topics were things I did not want to talk about. I did really well on this for years, anytime someone would bring up religion or politics I would simply walk away or not comment.
There are reasons for this, first off I was raised most of my life as a Catholic, I taught 3rd Sunday School for several years. Well when you live in the bible belt of Texas and 99% of the people you know are baptist being Catholic made you an outcast. So I never talked about it or discussed it with any of my friends, the older I got the more I pulled away from the Catholic church until I finally left it all together.
Politics were a whole different experience, when I was in high school I worked with my best friends mom at a political relations company. It was so much fun, but they were all democrats. There is nothing wrong with this, except for the ones I saw. At a very early age in my political life I saw the underbelly of the democratic way of life and I did not like it. So therefore, I decided that I was a republican. I should have never told my family because they were very much against republicans and what they stood for. So that went into the closet as well.
Now as time went on I would always tell people there are 2 things I will not talk about and that is politics and religion. No questions, no arguing, nothing I am not talking about it. So what did I do, I married a man who loved nothing more than talking politics and religion. I thought because we shared the same basic beliefs with religion that would be okay, oh boy, was I wrong. All those years of not talking about my religious opinions just made things worse.
We still had basically the same beliefs, but he was much more devoted to his causes than I was. When I was writing my book I recall him asking me "Don't you want to be an expert on this subject?" and my honest answer was "No, not really." I enjoyed my religion and I enjoyed celebrating the holidays the way I liked. He was a bit more precise with the holidays. Instead of having a set day every year, he went by the astrological time and place of when the holiday actually should be. Which for some odd reason was always in the middle of the night. I like my holidays to be more on my schedule, it certainly is more fun celebrating the Summer Solstice by spending the afternoon at the beach, than waking at 2:23 am.
Anyway, one of the things that is a big question with the online dating is your religious choice. And many people do not think it is that important but it is. I put down what my choices where and what I did not want. But alas, almost every response was from people who's religious beliefs were not what I was wanting. Finally, I asked someone why they choose to respond even though I said I was not interested in him based on his religious preferences. He told me "Oh we can get around that. It's not a big deal." WHOA! It is a big deal, If I am telling you up front before I even know you that based on your religion I would not be interested in you, it is a big deal for me. To assume that you can charm someone into accepting you is not only wrong it is just stupid.
My other favorite is when they tell me that they can accept me no matter what I believe in. That one always makes me laugh, because no matter what they say, their family and friends will say differently and family and friends always weigh in more than you think.
So my suggestion to anyone starting out looking for the perfect date is to keep in mind what is important to you and don't lower your standards just for a date. If you are a devote _____ (fill in the blank) be proud of that and you will do fine. Don't let someone tell you that they do not care what your religious beliefs are; because they do and those differences will come out at the worst possible times (ie: raising your children, if you get married, etc.).
Posted by
Cynthia