If any of you remember the TV drama Hill Street Blues then you know that after every meeting that opened the show the police captain would tell everyone "Let's Be Safe Out There."
Dating has changed so much since I was a teenager, there are so manything I did not know about, where were not aware of. When I was a youngster we did not talk about the problems with domestic violence between teens, date rape, etc. If we did it was not publicized for all the world to see. However, these are two very real and very dangerous situations that very common in today's society. There are teen girls who are dating guys that beat them, belittle them and abuse them. These girls are not attached to these boys by marriage or kids they are just dating. But, the emotions are the same as if they had been married for 10 years and had 4 kids.
Women who have been off the dating market for many years not prepared for the new dangers out there. We have heard about them and I am sure 90% of us have seen a Lifetime movie about it. But we never think it could happen to us. Well except me, I have always used the thought that "It can happen to me" and therefore I am always trying to protect myself from anything happening.
So here are some tips on how to stay safe when dating again:
1. No always means No and that's it. If he says "Oh you really know you want it" walk away and don't look back. If you can't walk away safely kick the crap out of him and then walk away.
2. Always carry your cell phone with you and make sure it is turned on and charged. It can't be used to call the police after you beat him over the head with frying pan if it is dead.
3. Never meet your potential date in a secluded area. Come on ladies, meet somewhere where you can park close to the building, there are lots of people around and you are safe when you leave alone.
4. Don't go back to his place until you know him much better and on that note don't invite him back to your place. If you are feeling the need for a little something...something stop by your local Adult store and deal with it on your own. You do not need a stranger to take care of it for you.
5. Pepper Spray is a great little tool. But be sure you know what you are doing before you use it. There is nothing worse than trying to spray the bad guy but you get it instead.
6. Self Defense classes, get your favorite girls together and take a class, they will teach you everything from how to avoid being raped to how to kick their ass when they get to fresh. Many of these classes are 1 or 2 evenings and very reasonably priced.
7. Do not carry a gun unless you know what you are doing. If you have a concealed handgun license that is wonderful. I was told by a cop friend that if you don't think you can kill a person with your gun don't take it. So basically, if you are going to use it for protection you better be damn sure you are prepared to kill someone in self defense. If you have doubts; get pepper spray and leave the gun at home.
8. If you get caught up in a situation and you can get away Run like the hounds of hell are after you. But don't' scream Help!!! scream Fire!!! instead. People will listen to this more than help.
9. Before you go out with someone you don't know ask him questions, Full Name, Where do you live? What do you do for a living? What company do you work for? etc. If he is an upstanding guy he will have no problems answering these questions. If he is vague on the answers put off the date until he can answer them. Unless you act like a stalker there should be no problem with him telling you "I works for XXX company".
10. Make a pact with your girlfriends, tell them where you are going and have them tell you where they are going. Call each other at a set time the next morning or that night if you want to, just to make sure they got home okay and that things went well. If you are set to call at midnight and no one answers you know where to start looking. Stick to this rule, it could save your life. If you meet someone while you are out and you have the mad desire to go with them call your girlfriends and tell them where you are going and when you will be home. Always take your own car, don't leave your car at a bar and ride with them. This way you can leave if you want and you can give better details of where you are if you have to have someone come get you.
11. If you get to intoxicated to drive, do not let him drive you home. Call a cab or a friend. Unless you know this person well enough having him take you home while you are intoxicated is just asking for trouble. Again, a upstanding guy will be okay with this.
11. THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE. If you are on a date and you are violated in any way GO TO THE POLICE. Ladies; don't fall for that deadly feeling "It was my fault" "I deserved it" "I should not have gone with him". IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT, YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. Help another girl out and turn his ass in and get that predator off the street.
These are just basic common sense rules, the dating game is not as simple as it was 20-30 years ago. It is more complex and more intense than we remember it. But, with a little planning and keeping in mind that your safety is your #1 priority dating can be fun and entertaining.