Is it okay to tell perspective dates that you do not want to meet their children? Is it okay to look for dates that do not have children?
These are two very important questions for me because I do not like children. I know, I know, you are all saying "But Cindy you have a child yourself." Yes, this is true, but I only have one (because I hated everything about being pregnant) and he is 20 years old.
It's not children per se that I hate, it is the way they are raised today. I see children out in the stores and they have absolutely no respect for anyone around them. They feel like they should always be the center of attention and if they are not they throw a fit. Personally, I just do not want to deal with it.
Here is what I have encountered in my online dating episodes. I put on every profile that I do not want anymore children, I would like a date that has no children and does not want any children. What do I get, I have kids but they don't live with me, I have kids 50% of the time, I have kids that live with me 100% of the time.
Where in my NO CHILDREN - DOES NOT WANT CHILDREN do they get the idea that this is what I am interested in. When I explain to them that I am not interested because of their family status 95% of them say "Oh by my child is very well behaved, they are great, they love the idea of me dating, etc." I finally had to go and put in the written part of my profile that no matter how much you think I will grow to love your child as much as you do it will not happen. I have no desire to be in competition with someones kid, because that kid should always come first in your life.
Over the years, people have complained about my view on children, when I go to a restaurant I do not want to sit next to a table with 5 kids. Nothing against the kids or their family, I just do not want to be part of their dinner. I always thought that when they banned smoking in restaurants they should have started a kids/no kids section. I remember one trip to Olive Garden several years ago and we asked for a quiet table she took us to a table where there was party of at least 15 people next to it and most of them were loud kids. We told her the table was not acceptable and she rudely said that it was the only open. We politely told her we would wait for another one to open. She had the nerve to ask me what my problem with kids was. I told her I do not have a problem with kids, I have already raised mine and if I was going to pay $40 for dinner I would like to enjoy it. She continued being rude until I finally asked to speak to the manager.
This is another thing society tells us how to do. They tell us that we are not complete without 2.5 kids in the family, they tell us that if you discipline your children you are abusing them, they tell us if you do not buy them every toy in the store and every electronic game out there you are a bad parent. So based on this we have a generation coming up that has no respect for people; including their own parents, they think they own the world, and that they should snap their fingers and magically get what they wished for. And there are parents who do this and unfortunately they are all looking for a date.
My advice on dating with kids is consider this one of the important factors into finding a perfect date. If you are a kids person and you can handle the drama and trauma of having kids on your date then by all means go for it. But, if you are like me and do not want the deal with it and think of kids as a lot of work then stick to your guns and don't get involved with someone who has them. Because, trust me if you don't like them now you are not going to like them when you are dating their dad (or mom) and they see you as the enemy.
Seriously folks you think Al Qaeda is bad wait until you see a kid who thinks you are keeping his mom and dad from true happiness. No nuclear weapon could stop that kid from making your life miserable.