I have come to the decision that my attempts at finding Mr. Right Now are futile. I am a member of one of the online dating services. I have met a few people from it that were okay, but for the most part they are just weird on so many levels. Below is an email I received from “Dave,” he saw my profile and liked it and here is what he had to say:
“My name is Dave; I live and work in Rio Rancho. I work as Quality Manager for a company that makes aircraft parts. I have 3 cats and 1 dog. My wife left me about a year ago this coming October. She is in charge of the divorce paperwork and I will sign when she gets them to me. I make this disclosure because at times when I attempt to communicate with a lady, the question comes up due to my separated status. I'm not pining for my wife and there will be no reconciliation. I was interested months ago and was able to convince her to come into couples counseling. As the weeks went by I realized her heart was not in it and she pulled out of the counseling. She left for what I guess were some of the small things that become big ones during a relationship if the communication stops. There was no abuse; no cheating and she left me for no one else. She left to start a new life and I am attempting to do the same.So that's the 900 lb gorilla and getting out of the way :)I liked your profile and think we could get along. I am sort of a homebody type but am working on getting out more. I am looking for a woman that would be interested in movies, dinner, lunch, breakfast, art shows, car shows, etc and whatever else may come our way. I am kind of out of practice :)Please write back if you find any of what I say to be interesting.Thanks”
And now all of you who thought “The List” was silly know why I wrote “The List”. He is a guy who not only does not know who I am but doesn’t even know my name. However, I now know his entire life story and it only took 4 paragraphs. Let’s analyze this email and see where Dave went wrong.
The first email you send to someone in the cyber dating world should not be your life story, but a simple “Hi, nice profile. Tell me more about yourself” The first paragraph is okay, he gives you his name; let you know he has a job and pets. The pet part was a nice touch. Then it just bombs from there.
His wife left him a year ago; sorry about that but I really don’t care. At this point in the conversation I am assuming you are single on some level. Then he goes on to say she is in charge of the paperwork and he will sign them when she gets them to him. This one line tells me he is not ready for the divorce, if he was he should be a bit more involved in the paperwork. He gives the impression that he does not care if the papers come today, tomorrow, next week or 10 years from now.
He explains telling you this because” when I attempt to communicate with a lady, the question comes up due to my separated status.” I can see how this would come up since it is the first thing he tells you about himself. He then tells me that he got her to agree to counseling but it did not work out. Again, I don’t care. Marriage counseling is a private affair and no one needs to know you went to marriage counseling. Especially someone you don’t know. Then I am informed of why she left. I am happy to read that there was no abuse (on who’s part he does not say), no cheating (again don’t know who would have cheated). Apparently she left to start a new life. After this email I can see why, in my mind I can picture them at a dinner party, the first person who walks up to Dave is told “We are married, have been for years, but she is not happy. I don’t know why, I don’t hit her or cheat on her. We went to marriage counseling but she was not in to it, blah blah blah” At this point a very confused cater waiter says “I only wanted to know if you wanted water or tea with your dinner, not your life story.”
He finishes up that story with the comment “So that's the 900 lb gorilla and getting out of the way.” What the hell does that mean, 900 lb gorilla? Is he saying his wife weighed 900 pounds?
He finished the email by telling me he liked my profiles and thinks we can get along. Are you kidding me? He then tells me about his hobbies (if you can call them that). First off he is a homebody but trying to get out more. A homebody, the last thing I need in my life is a homebody, I am a spur of the moment type of person, who on my way home gets the idea I want to go out dinner or to the movies or even out of town. A homebody fits no where in my life unless you are an hamster and live in a cage. Either way he is looking for a woman that is interested in all three meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner), movies, art shows and my favorite car shows. For a homebody he sure wants to go out a lot. But he does admit he is out of practice. Ya think?
Now maybe those of you who thought my list was silly understand more why I am putting out there exactly what I want. Because apparently this is what is looking for love and if that is the case I am glad I am not looking for it as well.
“My name is Dave; I live and work in Rio Rancho. I work as Quality Manager for a company that makes aircraft parts. I have 3 cats and 1 dog. My wife left me about a year ago this coming October. She is in charge of the divorce paperwork and I will sign when she gets them to me. I make this disclosure because at times when I attempt to communicate with a lady, the question comes up due to my separated status. I'm not pining for my wife and there will be no reconciliation. I was interested months ago and was able to convince her to come into couples counseling. As the weeks went by I realized her heart was not in it and she pulled out of the counseling. She left for what I guess were some of the small things that become big ones during a relationship if the communication stops. There was no abuse; no cheating and she left me for no one else. She left to start a new life and I am attempting to do the same.So that's the 900 lb gorilla and getting out of the way :)I liked your profile and think we could get along. I am sort of a homebody type but am working on getting out more. I am looking for a woman that would be interested in movies, dinner, lunch, breakfast, art shows, car shows, etc and whatever else may come our way. I am kind of out of practice :)Please write back if you find any of what I say to be interesting.Thanks”
And now all of you who thought “The List” was silly know why I wrote “The List”. He is a guy who not only does not know who I am but doesn’t even know my name. However, I now know his entire life story and it only took 4 paragraphs. Let’s analyze this email and see where Dave went wrong.
The first email you send to someone in the cyber dating world should not be your life story, but a simple “Hi, nice profile. Tell me more about yourself” The first paragraph is okay, he gives you his name; let you know he has a job and pets. The pet part was a nice touch. Then it just bombs from there.
His wife left him a year ago; sorry about that but I really don’t care. At this point in the conversation I am assuming you are single on some level. Then he goes on to say she is in charge of the paperwork and he will sign them when she gets them to him. This one line tells me he is not ready for the divorce, if he was he should be a bit more involved in the paperwork. He gives the impression that he does not care if the papers come today, tomorrow, next week or 10 years from now.
He explains telling you this because” when I attempt to communicate with a lady, the question comes up due to my separated status.” I can see how this would come up since it is the first thing he tells you about himself. He then tells me that he got her to agree to counseling but it did not work out. Again, I don’t care. Marriage counseling is a private affair and no one needs to know you went to marriage counseling. Especially someone you don’t know. Then I am informed of why she left. I am happy to read that there was no abuse (on who’s part he does not say), no cheating (again don’t know who would have cheated). Apparently she left to start a new life. After this email I can see why, in my mind I can picture them at a dinner party, the first person who walks up to Dave is told “We are married, have been for years, but she is not happy. I don’t know why, I don’t hit her or cheat on her. We went to marriage counseling but she was not in to it, blah blah blah” At this point a very confused cater waiter says “I only wanted to know if you wanted water or tea with your dinner, not your life story.”
He finishes up that story with the comment “So that's the 900 lb gorilla and getting out of the way.” What the hell does that mean, 900 lb gorilla? Is he saying his wife weighed 900 pounds?
He finished the email by telling me he liked my profiles and thinks we can get along. Are you kidding me? He then tells me about his hobbies (if you can call them that). First off he is a homebody but trying to get out more. A homebody, the last thing I need in my life is a homebody, I am a spur of the moment type of person, who on my way home gets the idea I want to go out dinner or to the movies or even out of town. A homebody fits no where in my life unless you are an hamster and live in a cage. Either way he is looking for a woman that is interested in all three meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner), movies, art shows and my favorite car shows. For a homebody he sure wants to go out a lot. But he does admit he is out of practice. Ya think?
Now maybe those of you who thought my list was silly understand more why I am putting out there exactly what I want. Because apparently this is what is looking for love and if that is the case I am glad I am not looking for it as well.