#3 came over the other night to pick up some things. It is amazing that 14 months after separating I still have things that belong to him. In all honesty these are things that were in storage and I have not looked at them since moving. Anyway, back to my original thought. He stopped by for a few minutes, we actually held a conversation that did not include arguing. When he left, I just went about doing my usual animal chores (they never seem to end).
It was not until the next day that I realized something was different. Not about him but about me. What was different? The feelings upon seeing him, talking with him and after he left. They were all different. I realized that while he was there I did not have any feelings of wanting to dismember him. In fact I had no feelings at all. Which for me is very weird it usually takes me years to get to the point of no feelings for someone. But, I am impressed with myself. I had no feelings of anger, hate, dislike or any negative feelings at all. And on a high note I had no feelings of love, lust, like, remembrance or any of those feelings.
So I guess the answer to my previous questions How do you forgive? is with time. Time will allow you to forgive. Of course, I don't know if I am ready to go so far as to say I forgive him yet, but I know that I am on the right road and when the time is right it will no longer be a question I ask.