In my world of magick there are two kinds of magick that can be performed. You can do white magick or black magick; as far as my teaching went there was no in between or grey magick. It was either right or wrong. Growing up with Paganism as a way of life and certainly when I was raising Joshua we taught that you only did magick with the best intentions in mind. Even a simple love spell was wrong because you were trying to control someone else's emotions and having them look at you differently. Many people like to dabble in the "grey" area with spells and rituals that are wrong but they wiggle around until they convince themselves that it is okay. In the Pagan world we believe and are taught that if you do a spell that causes harm to someone else that harm will be returned to you 7 fold. That in itself keeps most of us in control. Of course like most religions we are also taught that when you do something good that comes back to you as well. Of course in my opinion you get the bad much faster than you get the good.
In my 26 years of being an active Pagan I have never wandered from the "white" side of the whole ordeal and I have really never been tempted to until recently. I can't say for sure what actually pushed me over the good witch/bad witch edge but something did. It could have been my ex bragging that he has remarried, and found a woman who likes to cuddle, eat scallops and live in an environment that is hell hot. All the things I did not like to do. Although, I am not opposed to cuddling but I can not sleep when it is 80 degrees in my house. It just seemed that he only told me what he liked about her by telling me what he hated about me. More information that I did not need to know or really care to know. It also pushed home what the guides have telling me for months; it was time to banish him from my life, my thoughts, my home and my complete existence. But, I am not a fan of banishing people because when we banish people from our lives we tell the universe and the Goddess that we want them to go to whatever is better for them. Basically you have to be nice and I in no way want to be nice. I know we have been separated for 19 months (because he reminds me all the time) and I should be over the "hate" part. However, in my defense I tell EVERYONE I get involved with. Piss me off all you want because I will eventually get over it. But, never ever hurt my feelings because if you do I will spend the rest of my life torturing you to no end. I don't know why I have this glitch in me but I do and I always have. Luckily the only way you can really hurt my feelings is if I am in love with you and since I don't fall in love with many people there are not a lot of people out there hurting my feelings, except him. He made it a point to do this as often as possible since our divorce. He does not always achieve his goal but he has done enough that he currently resides at the top of my list of torturing at the moment. Or at least he was until the other day.
I had just fallen over the edge and gotten out my little black book to find something fun and entertaining to do when I got my ass royally kicked by the guides. Now, if you have never had your ass kicked by the spirit realm let me tell you it is not something you will enjoy. There is no fun to it whatsoever and they have no sense of humor. As I was setting up my tools and things my house went freezing cold you could see your breath in the air and then it went to hell hot. All this happened in a matter of seconds. I looked over at the dogs and they were totally unaffected by the temperature change so I knew this was not a thermostat problem.
I have 5 spirits that live in my house at the moment and they are there with my blessing, most of the time they are okay to have around. They keep the critters entertained and keep the bad outside. This night they were not happy, they do not like it when I am being naughty. But I was in no mood to be reprimanded by the other side, I knew what I wanted to do and I had the vision of my ex swinging on a string like a frog on the end of a fishing pole. My first problem was no matter what I tried to do I could not get candles to light and the temperature kept fluctuating from cold to hot. The energy in my house was not normal, the spirits were uncomfortable and I was getting a bit spooked, the dogs however were happy as clams.
Ziere or Z for short is my main guide. He is the MC for the guides except for Ivey she has no problems talking on her own, but then she is in charge of different things. Z demanded to know what I was doing and why, so I told him. One thing about your guides they live your lives with you so if you repeat a life they come back too. None of us want to come back again. So for me to do what I was doing was going to make me come back many more times just to pay for the deed. We bantered back and forth about my anger and hurt, Z does not understand relationships, he feels they are a waste of time because humans are never happy with anyone. One thing about spirits they do not have emotions so there is not empathy for my hurt feelings. Their solution is to just let it go. Easier said than done but it does make some sense. Before I could do any harm to the ex or myself we reached an agreement. They would take away the anger if I would repeat the mantra to banish him from my life. I have had them take away anger before, they don't like to do because I learn from it. But I have been to the point of actual violence so they can take away that anger not 100% but enough so that I am not sending anyone to the hospital with my energy.
The house went back to normal; or as normal as my house ever is. I woke up the next day with the mantra on my lips, I realized I say this mantra constantly without even thinking about it. I also realized that I no longer had the level of anger I had a few days ago. It is not gone 100% bur enough that I don't worry about running into him on the street…literally.
The guides had some very strict instructions for me and that was I no longer have time to waste on someone else's life. I have things to do, they will take care of the things that are wasting my time and push me to the things that I need to do. I have agreed to take at least one weekend off a month to spend on myself and learn to relax and keep myself healthy and happy. Which means traveling and driving, which is what makes me happy. So we will see, I did not enjoy seeing a side of my guides I have never seen before and I won't do anything to see that side again.