First off I wanted to have it done on April 16 since that was the 8th anniversary of #3 proposing to me. It felt right to stop something on the day it started. It was actually a very easy process which took me totally by surprise. I simply filed out papers, we each signed them and I went to the courthouse and gave them $137 dollars and I was done. Lord, in Texas you do the paperwork and you have to wait 60-90 days then go before a judge and plead your case. I guess New Mexico assumes that if you have gone to the trouble of filling out the forms and getting them notarized you are serious.
What I was not prepared for was the overwhelming sense of lose that I was hit with afterwards. I know it sounds weird, and I thought I was prepared. But, I honestly could not talk to anyone for 24 hours afterwards. I was emotionally devastated. I had told my parents the night before what I was doing and I sent an email to my family and let them know what I was doing so I did not need to talk to them.
In a weird way, I guess I thought he would turn into my knight in shining armor and beg me not to do it and confess his love for me. And that did not happen. In fact he did not even call me that day, he did eventually email me with a quick note something to the effect of "Did you file the papers today or not". My dream for the perfect love was gone and the worst part was my heart was so broken. I did not think I could hurt anymore than I have over the past year but guess what I could. He eventually called on Thursday, leaving a message saying "I hope you are well and things are okay with you." I wanted to kill him at this point. No I was not well and no things were not okay with me. But did he give a rat's ass? Fuck No. All he cared about was what was going on in his life. His precious life that is so fucking important to only him. Okay, enough ranting.
Friday, started off with him threatening to cancel the divorce. Now, before you get your hopes up it is not because he had an overwhelming sense of love for me and all that he was losing. No No friends it was because he was afraid he would lose his dental insurance. Yes, you read right, his dental insurance that is through Cobra and Mesa. He was livid with me and was threatening to tell the courts that I lied to him about what he was signing so that he could get the divorced canceled and save his insurance.
At this point, I have never in my life hated anyone more than I hated him. After being abused by #2 for years I never hated him that much. I have been through a week of emotional hell because of him and he only cares about his dental insurance. Which by the way, he would not have if it was not for me putting him on my plan in the first place.
I was able to gather my senses and get to work, with no help from him. Since he does not have to work for a living he has no idea what it is like to have to spend the next 12-14 hours working when your life is being torn apart. But, then again, his life was fine other than a moment of panic thinking he did not have insurance so the world was just right for him. Screw anyone else we are mere peons in this life compared to this omni important greatness.
I spent the day trying to figure out how I let this happen to me AGAIN. Where did I find this person who would thrive on making my life miserable? Based on some information I already knew I spent the better part of Friday researching his personality type and finding out how to survive when they toss you aside. I then spent the better part of Saturday, driving around town and becoming very enlightened to exactly what type of personality he has.
So to make a long ranting short, the paperwork will be finalized and ready to pick up on Thursday. For those of you who read a post I put up Friday called "Don't Piss Me Off" you will notice it is not there any longer. I was in the mood for vengeance and I still am. However, my guides pointed out that the gist of the posting was good and right on, however, it would not affect him in anyway but it would hurt other people out there that did not deserve that pain. So based on their guidance I removed that post.