Happy Monday my fellow readers; today is Monday in a true sense of the word. My weekend was pretty uneventful, nothing much happened; I stayed at home and piddled around doing this and that. I spring cleaned my closet and took out most of my winter wear and either put it away for now or donated it to Goodwill.
I had some very odd dreams over the weekend that really bugged me. I am a firm believer in dreams, to me they are my minds way of helping me work through problems, see something that I refuse to see or they are just screwing with my head. The head screwing ones are the easiest to pick out they make absolutely no sense at all. The other ones I will wake up and know that I need to remember that dream and pay attention to it for future reference.
Friday night I had a few dreams but the one that stands out as one I needed to remember was about a family member of mine that has died. They are still alive but in the dream they died. As a funeral student I was a bit too interested in the aspects of the body preparation but I quickly got guided off that topic and onto the one I should be paying attention to. I am not going to go into great detail about it because it still upsets me a bit. But, when I woke up and called on my guides they assured me that the person was still alive and was going to stay that way for the time being. My problem was dreaming about their death did not seem wrong, it felt right. Like this is what was suppose to happen. Now remember, dreaming about death does not necessarily mean someone physically dies. It could mean that their spirit is dying, their happiness is dying, their livelihood is dying, etc. There are many forms of death that can occur besides the final one.
What I got from this dream was that something was obviously not right with this person, it has not been right for along time. I took away that I need to call them and let them talk to me about what is going on in their life, let them tell me what could be the possible cause of their “death”. I also need to let them know that I am here for anything at anytime. One thing I try to instill in my family and friends is that they can think of my house as a sanctuary. It is far away from everyone in the family and they can come to my house and stay there while they get their thoughts and bearings back on track. I know I talk about how it would be awful to have my family drop in but in reality I think that is what I am doing out here in the middle of nowhere. I have created a place that people can come to and relax, rejuvenate and talk without me judging them or their actions.
Saturdays dream was a bit different but just as disturbing to me. In the dream #3 and I are still together and our life is pretty happy. He goes on a mission to find the perfect place for us to live and does a great job of it. I have to say that I love it when I dream of places I will live because then my imagination is set free and I come up with some great places. He found a 4 bedroom apartment that was bigger than most houses I have seen. But the best part was my bathroom; it was huge and all marble. With a massive tub and lots of lights, it was fabulous. The dream went on just great and when I woke up in those few minutes where I am still on the dream plane but just about to cross over I usually talk to the guides about the day. But this time I didn’t I just relaxed in the feeling left from the dream and let that carry me awake. BAD DECISION – VERY BAD DECISION.
Why you ask was that a bad decision? I just allowed myself to see something that I would have loved to had but it was something that will never happened. I woke up actually expecting to see #3 lying next to me and when it was empty that feeling of depression and sadness came over me. It was awful. This is not the first dream of its kind that I have had lately. A few nights ago I had a dream about #3 and me and we were doing our usual thing of running around together doing errands. It was a great dream everything was going good, we were getting along and laughing and just enjoying being together. Then out of the blue, on a whim, he turned. He became the angry, nasty person he turned into at the end. He started yelling at me, calling me all kinds of nasty things, telling me everything he disliked about me and my feelings dropped. I was over come by sadness, and when I say sadness I am not talking the sadness you get when your favorite show is over for the season. I am talking about the earth shattering, life ending, giving up sadness that you feel when something you really wanted and loved falls apart.
I was upset and really confused as to why I was having these dreams. I did not understand it, I sat down for a heart to heart with Z and instead of being my usual demanding belligerent person I was just quiet. When I am truly confused about something and I put a lot of energy into solving it, I get very quiet and reserved. I know you are shocked, Cindy quiet and reserved, who would figure that one. But, alas it is true. Z knowing my moods that he does also knows this is not the time to talk like a fortune cookie nor is it the time to be harsh. He has explained this process to me many times in the past few months, but it still does not go over very well with me.
His explanation is that there is a very small amount of time left for each person to achieve the level of enlightenment they are going to achieve in this lifetime. The window of opportunity is closing quickly. In order to keep me on track they like to give me reminders of why I am where I am. If I start to get to comfortable in a certain area of my life that I need to stay out of they will give me a swift kick in the ass to bring me around again. It is usually very harsh but the point is made.
So the point of the dreams is not to upset me but to prepare me for what will happen in the future. They are very adamant that when and if #3 and I ever decide to try again that I make the right decision. They continue to keep my level of distrust up by continuing to show me what the relationship was all about and if and when we ever do try again it will not turn out any different. To them this is a perfect way to solve a problem. Much like when you try to teach a dog to stay out of the trash. Every time he gets near the trash bin you do something unpleasant to scare him off until eventually he stays away. To them I am the dog and #3 is the trash bin.
I had some very odd dreams over the weekend that really bugged me. I am a firm believer in dreams, to me they are my minds way of helping me work through problems, see something that I refuse to see or they are just screwing with my head. The head screwing ones are the easiest to pick out they make absolutely no sense at all. The other ones I will wake up and know that I need to remember that dream and pay attention to it for future reference.
Friday night I had a few dreams but the one that stands out as one I needed to remember was about a family member of mine that has died. They are still alive but in the dream they died. As a funeral student I was a bit too interested in the aspects of the body preparation but I quickly got guided off that topic and onto the one I should be paying attention to. I am not going to go into great detail about it because it still upsets me a bit. But, when I woke up and called on my guides they assured me that the person was still alive and was going to stay that way for the time being. My problem was dreaming about their death did not seem wrong, it felt right. Like this is what was suppose to happen. Now remember, dreaming about death does not necessarily mean someone physically dies. It could mean that their spirit is dying, their happiness is dying, their livelihood is dying, etc. There are many forms of death that can occur besides the final one.
What I got from this dream was that something was obviously not right with this person, it has not been right for along time. I took away that I need to call them and let them talk to me about what is going on in their life, let them tell me what could be the possible cause of their “death”. I also need to let them know that I am here for anything at anytime. One thing I try to instill in my family and friends is that they can think of my house as a sanctuary. It is far away from everyone in the family and they can come to my house and stay there while they get their thoughts and bearings back on track. I know I talk about how it would be awful to have my family drop in but in reality I think that is what I am doing out here in the middle of nowhere. I have created a place that people can come to and relax, rejuvenate and talk without me judging them or their actions.
Saturdays dream was a bit different but just as disturbing to me. In the dream #3 and I are still together and our life is pretty happy. He goes on a mission to find the perfect place for us to live and does a great job of it. I have to say that I love it when I dream of places I will live because then my imagination is set free and I come up with some great places. He found a 4 bedroom apartment that was bigger than most houses I have seen. But the best part was my bathroom; it was huge and all marble. With a massive tub and lots of lights, it was fabulous. The dream went on just great and when I woke up in those few minutes where I am still on the dream plane but just about to cross over I usually talk to the guides about the day. But this time I didn’t I just relaxed in the feeling left from the dream and let that carry me awake. BAD DECISION – VERY BAD DECISION.
Why you ask was that a bad decision? I just allowed myself to see something that I would have loved to had but it was something that will never happened. I woke up actually expecting to see #3 lying next to me and when it was empty that feeling of depression and sadness came over me. It was awful. This is not the first dream of its kind that I have had lately. A few nights ago I had a dream about #3 and me and we were doing our usual thing of running around together doing errands. It was a great dream everything was going good, we were getting along and laughing and just enjoying being together. Then out of the blue, on a whim, he turned. He became the angry, nasty person he turned into at the end. He started yelling at me, calling me all kinds of nasty things, telling me everything he disliked about me and my feelings dropped. I was over come by sadness, and when I say sadness I am not talking the sadness you get when your favorite show is over for the season. I am talking about the earth shattering, life ending, giving up sadness that you feel when something you really wanted and loved falls apart.
I was upset and really confused as to why I was having these dreams. I did not understand it, I sat down for a heart to heart with Z and instead of being my usual demanding belligerent person I was just quiet. When I am truly confused about something and I put a lot of energy into solving it, I get very quiet and reserved. I know you are shocked, Cindy quiet and reserved, who would figure that one. But, alas it is true. Z knowing my moods that he does also knows this is not the time to talk like a fortune cookie nor is it the time to be harsh. He has explained this process to me many times in the past few months, but it still does not go over very well with me.
His explanation is that there is a very small amount of time left for each person to achieve the level of enlightenment they are going to achieve in this lifetime. The window of opportunity is closing quickly. In order to keep me on track they like to give me reminders of why I am where I am. If I start to get to comfortable in a certain area of my life that I need to stay out of they will give me a swift kick in the ass to bring me around again. It is usually very harsh but the point is made.
So the point of the dreams is not to upset me but to prepare me for what will happen in the future. They are very adamant that when and if #3 and I ever decide to try again that I make the right decision. They continue to keep my level of distrust up by continuing to show me what the relationship was all about and if and when we ever do try again it will not turn out any different. To them this is a perfect way to solve a problem. Much like when you try to teach a dog to stay out of the trash. Every time he gets near the trash bin you do something unpleasant to scare him off until eventually he stays away. To them I am the dog and #3 is the trash bin.