I have been single for 12 days and it has been a pretty active 12 days. Mostly I have been working but there has been some play mixed in. One of the problems I faced when the divorce was finalized was that I did not feel the way I “thought” I should feel. I was not thrilled and over the moon with happiness that it was finally over which was so odd for me that I was thrown for a loop as we say in the south.
But as the days have passed my attitude has changed, I am still not over the moon but I think that is because this was such a traumatic event that I am relieved it is over and just ready to move on. I guess the biggest thing I have been doing for the past few weeks is what Phyllis and I are referring to as “nesting”. I have been working on making my little house a home. For the time being I am here in New Mexico, I do not know how long that will be for but while I am here I might as well enjoy my space. So I have been doing all those girlie things, buying curtains, blinds, pictures, frames, everything you can think of. Now I just have to find the time to actually put it all up. But that is coming slowly.
Last week I signed up with an internet dating service. I promise I am not crazy nor am I looking for #4 I am just looking for someone. As much as I do not want a serious relationship I do miss the companionship of a man. It will be interesting I think because I have to explain to them that I am not looking for a husband or boyfriend, I am looking for a friend with possible benefits. It seems most men my age want to settle down and I can understand that so I am just preparing myself for the inevitable argument.
So this was a big step for me, I put my profile online and I was actually honest. I did leave out the part about not dating anyone with kids, I figured since I am not looking for a serious relationships, kids did not matter at the moment. I did put the religious part, that if they are looking to convert me don’t. I have gotten a pretty good response from some nice guys. At least I think they are nice, since at the beginning you are just email back and forth it really is hard to know. But I go based on the vibration I get from looking at their picture as well as reading their emails. Some of them I have gotten a bit of an off vibe from and I just don’t respond to them or I tell them up front that I am not interested.
I have found that dating at 40 is much different than dating at 20 or even 30. You are more mature and more confident with yourself. I also know myself so much better than I did even 10 years ago and I am able to pick up pretty fast on if someone is going to be able to mesh with me and my energy. But the best part is at this age, I am not afraid to be upfront and tell someone I am not interested. Before I was worried if I would hurt their feelings, I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but I also do not want to get into any type of situation with someone I don’t like.
I still have some leftover issues from things that #3 has said, but I am trying to not let those interfere with what I am doing. It is not easy sometimes especially the weight issues. It is very hard not to let that pop up in my mind every time someone says I am pretty or nice. But, I am going to work on that and banishing those thoughts from my head.
But as the days have passed my attitude has changed, I am still not over the moon but I think that is because this was such a traumatic event that I am relieved it is over and just ready to move on. I guess the biggest thing I have been doing for the past few weeks is what Phyllis and I are referring to as “nesting”. I have been working on making my little house a home. For the time being I am here in New Mexico, I do not know how long that will be for but while I am here I might as well enjoy my space. So I have been doing all those girlie things, buying curtains, blinds, pictures, frames, everything you can think of. Now I just have to find the time to actually put it all up. But that is coming slowly.
Last week I signed up with an internet dating service. I promise I am not crazy nor am I looking for #4 I am just looking for someone. As much as I do not want a serious relationship I do miss the companionship of a man. It will be interesting I think because I have to explain to them that I am not looking for a husband or boyfriend, I am looking for a friend with possible benefits. It seems most men my age want to settle down and I can understand that so I am just preparing myself for the inevitable argument.
So this was a big step for me, I put my profile online and I was actually honest. I did leave out the part about not dating anyone with kids, I figured since I am not looking for a serious relationships, kids did not matter at the moment. I did put the religious part, that if they are looking to convert me don’t. I have gotten a pretty good response from some nice guys. At least I think they are nice, since at the beginning you are just email back and forth it really is hard to know. But I go based on the vibration I get from looking at their picture as well as reading their emails. Some of them I have gotten a bit of an off vibe from and I just don’t respond to them or I tell them up front that I am not interested.
I have found that dating at 40 is much different than dating at 20 or even 30. You are more mature and more confident with yourself. I also know myself so much better than I did even 10 years ago and I am able to pick up pretty fast on if someone is going to be able to mesh with me and my energy. But the best part is at this age, I am not afraid to be upfront and tell someone I am not interested. Before I was worried if I would hurt their feelings, I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but I also do not want to get into any type of situation with someone I don’t like.
I still have some leftover issues from things that #3 has said, but I am trying to not let those interfere with what I am doing. It is not easy sometimes especially the weight issues. It is very hard not to let that pop up in my mind every time someone says I am pretty or nice. But, I am going to work on that and banishing those thoughts from my head.