Well as it so often happens in the world of single people I have gotten dumped. It has been a long time since I was dumped by anyone. Well at least someone I was not married too. But none the less I was dumped.
As you can probably tell I am not too heart broken over it. Seriously we only went on a few dates so it was not something that kept me up crying into my pillow. But let me tell you what I have discovered about dating and me.
I had this particular gentleman over to my house a few times. The first time was really weird for me because I realized I hate people to touch me. Now don't get me wrong, I don't have some psychosis on touching; it just bugs the crap out of me. Here is how it went down.
First off he arrives and gives me a hug and small kiss, I am fine. He comes in says hi to the dogs and we sit around talking for awhile. As the evening progresses he starts off by lightly touching my leg, then my arms and then my hair. Ask anyone that knows me and they will tell you NEVER NEVER NEVER touch Cindy's hair. I absolutely hate this. I have no idea why but once when #3 and I had just gotten married and we were out and about he reached over and started massaging my neck. I swear to all that is holy I honestly thought he was trying to kill me. I am guessing I had a past life experience where someone killed my by way of my neck. I'm thinking guillotine, it would explain this twisted fascination I have had with them and how the body responds to a sudden loss of the head. Think about it...does your head die right away or is there a lay over for a second or two and can you see your body lying there. Okay this was a serious question I had as a teen that grossed out everyone I knew but I wanted to know. Okay back to the story.
So we make it through the evening without me taking off his arms for touching me but I was really annoyed. It drove me nuts to have him constantly rubbing on me. So I called a few people I know and asked them about this oddity. And every one of them said the same thing "Yeah, Cyn you do not like to be touched. AT ALL." Well I let this go to deal with in therapy and moved on.
Anyway, things moved on but not to a level that he wanted. Like most men he wanted a little something something and like most men I know he was not going to get it from me. He also had this silly notion that when you are seeing a person you should actually see them. But when I am going through a difficult personal crisis I do two things, I work myself into an early grave and fall back on my faith. I am doing both, I am working as much as I possibly can and I am casting as much as I can. Both of these are going really well, I am getting very good at them. Which is great for those of you close to me whom I adore but those of you who are not on my good list may want to think twice about pissing me off in the future. Anyway, I got this very nice email after he realized I was working another weekend that said he was sorry but he needed someone he could spend more time with and who made him the top priority in their life.
My initial response was "Oh, I'm sorry" that lasted about 2 milliseconds then I said "Okay, see ya." First off there is never going to be another guy that will be top priority in my life except my son and dog. I have done that three times and we know where that got me. And second my life is all about working and making money right now. Until I am out of debt and able to see a clear path, I can't take off weekends and spend them playing. Sorry but that is life and I am usually up front about it.
So this being both my first experience with a man after the big separation and my first experience with being dumped since the separation am I hurt by it. Hell no, after the way #3 dumped me and proceeded to tell me everything he hated about me (and continues to do so whenever he gets the chance) this was a sweet break up. He told me how much he liked me and enjoyed being with me, he did a break up the right way. I have no desire to turn him into a blubbery idiot like I do a few of the other ex's. In fact if he called tomorrow and asked me out I would probably seriously consider it.
So for my first post divorce encounter this was nice, I will not be so worried in the future. I will work on my touching issues, which my shrink assures me is caused by the fact that every time I allow myself to let down the walls and let someone in they violate that trust by turning against me. So according to her it is all very understandable and once I learn to trust someone I let them touch me and get to know me. So there is hope, unless you are one of the ones who have hurt me in the past then you just need to considered yourself toast.