Let me take a moment to introduce you to my family that have died and crossed over who are still part of my life today. First there is my grandfather, who we called Pap-pa, he is my mother's father and I adored him growing up. He moved to Texas when I was just knee high to a grasshopper and my mother joined him shortly after that. He died in 1994 after being ill for awhile, I believe he was ready to go. My Pap-pa has never really left this plain. He was around for my Grandma Carol during her mourning and he is still here. The way he makes himself known to me at my house is by standing behind the bedroom door and peaking around the corner. I believe he does this because he does not want to impose on me, he just wants to be there for me. He usually does not come around unless I am having a really hard time. With the separation and divorce he has been around a lot. My grandma, whom we called Mam-ma, died in 2003, she just flat out told me she would not be coming back to visit me because she had other things to do. She did visit briefly right after she passed away, she appeared to my friend Sandy to give her a message for me. My great grandmother, who passed over in 1986 and I did not know she was at my house until recently.
There are a few others there that come and go. Harrison comes and goes but has not been there for awhile, but he has his own "signature call" when he arrives so that I know it is him. There are the guides who are always there and I have guardians that are posted around my house for protection. So I am usually entertained and kept company by them.
As I mentioned I did a cleansing at my house and asked all the spirits to cross over and leave my home. The guides and guardians are still there, you can't ask them to leave, there job is to stay and protect me and they do not interfere with my day to day life. The spirits on the other hand do. They don't necessarily interfere with my life but they can get a bit crazy. I have to ask them to be quiet at night a lot. I think they sometimes forget that I am sleeping and they will talk and gab all night. Sometimes I have to ask them to stay in the living room because the dogs will watch the hallway all night. If they get out of hand I really get on to them. I have lived this way for so long it is second nature to me. I don't even think about it when things move, fall, open or turn on around me. It sounds weird but that is the way it is. Now, I have to wonder how #3 dealt with at the beginning. It must have drove him crazy to have this wired energy around all the time. But, he never said anything, unless they started to bother him.
Anyway, based on what I was reading about ghosts I learned how much they can inter act with us and cause problems. A ghost is nothing but energy, they no longer have a body, they are no longer human they are simply energy. In order for a ghost to stay on this plain they have to feed off of energy and they get that from people. Have you ever heard someone say that they woke up and were being held down by a ghost? This is not true; it is called fear paralysis. Basically a ghost can not hold you down physically, but they can interfer with your dreams and cause you to have a bad dream that is very frightening and gets your energy going while you are sleeping. This is giving them strenghth from your energy and causing you some serious trauma from the nightmare.
Fighting is another way a ghost can get energy from you. Have you ever had a great day and got home and just started fighting for no reason what so ever. You don't even know what you were fighting about all you know is that you want to fight and argue until someone breaks. This It is very possible that you were just given a ghost induced fight, they needed energy so they caused a fight to get that energy.
This is what I realized was going on with me and #3. Our relationship was a good one up to a point then it got crazy weird. We both started doing and saying things that just did not make any sense at all. People who knew him no longer even recognized him. I thought maybe he made a contract with a walk in. I just did not know all I knew was that if I went home we would fight about something or nothing. Eventually it got to the point that anytime we were in the same space together we would fight. I literally had notes in my car to remind me not to call and ask him if he wanted to go somewhere, because, that would cause him to start bitching about money and all that he did not have, which would then start a fight.
Oncewe were separated he kept telling me that he thought I would be more like my grandmother. This made no sense to me, since he had never met my grandmother, not once. How could he think I was going to be more like her. He had seen pictures of her, so I did not know what he thought I could be like. She was 5"2 and little, so did he think I was going to turn into a 5 foot 2 inch little old woman? He would tell me that I said I was just like her and I did but I meant personality wise not body wise. Either way, it was just the oddest comment to make to someone. I remember looking at him one day and asking "When did our relationship turn into every other relationship I have ever had?" My meaning was our relationship started out so different and we were so compatible (or so I thought) when did it go wrong.
While reading this book, I got the sudden feeling that I knew what happened and why it all went to hell. I called Phyllis to see if she would do a reading and let me know what she got. Well needless to say, we were not prepared for the response that Phyllis got. Let me explain how this works, there are times when something is going on and I will ask a trusted friend to do a reading, I can do one myself but since this is very personal I sometimes will read something into the situation that may not be there or I could take an answer the wrong way. So when I really need help I will ask a trusted friend to help me out. Since Phyllis comes to my house she knows the vibrations and energy that reside there, basically she has been introduced to the spirits and they know her and trust her. So they are more willing to talk to her than maybe someone who has never been to my house. Also because of the spirits and the intense energy in my home, I do not allow many people to come over. If the spirits do not like the person or feel a threat it causes the energy to get off balance and it takes a lot of work to get it corrected.
Phyllis picked up on a lady that was in my home, she was an older lady and she was a bit grumpy. She flat out told Phyllis that she was there to teach me a lesson. This message and lady were confusing to Phyllis because she c0uld not figure out who it was. But as soon as she relayed the message to me I knew who it was...my Great Grandmother; Mabel Smith. My first and strongest thought were "Oh Hell No!!!! You are not going to teach me any lesson." If she was going to teach me anything she should have done it while she was alive and not now. The second thing was that she would not be allowed to teach me a lesson that is strictly up to the guides and if they thought I was suppose to learn something from her they would have told me up front and brought her to me. Not let her demand that she has something to teach me. They are very protective over me and my lessons since they feel I do not have time to waste on trival things and I have to agree.
Mabel Smith died November 6, 1986, she was in her 80's. She lived in Florida with my Grandmother, Lucille. I did not know her very well, she was around while I was growing up but all I remember of her was that she was grumpy and did not seem to like us kids that much. Of course, as an adult, I don't like kids that much either so I can understand her being grumpy. Before Mabel died she recorded a tape where she sat at the nursing home and talked about her life. She talked about growing up, getting married and having children. The only thing that really stood out for me on that tape was her talking about her only daughter, Lucille, and how disappointed she was when she got married and had kids. Apparently, Mabel wanted her daughter to stay home and take care of her and my grandmother did this til the day Mabel died. She took Mabel in and they lived together for as long as I can remember until about 6 months or so before she died and had to be put in a rest home. My personal belief is that Mabel stayed with my grandmother even after dying. She probably just lived in the same house and carried on as usual, she was just dead.
After I got this information from Phyllis I got pissed and there is nothing worse than losing your temper with a ghost, because you are giving them more energy. So I had to control my temper until I could figure this out. I sat down with the guides for information and advice on what to do. I was starting to feel really guilty; and that is almost impossible to do with me. But, I knew that she had somehow caused most of the problems with #3 and myuself.
#3 and I did not really start having problems until around 2004 or so not long after my grandmother passed away. At the time, there were several hits to our lives that we were dealing with so I did not pay much attention to the trouble. But here is what I pieced together. December 2003 I went to Houston to visit my family. I was right in the middle of grieving of Harrison's passing 2 weeks before so emotionally I was a disaster. My grandmother was just diagnosed with cancer and she had pretty much given up on life. I personally believe that she did not want to fight anymore and just decided to go. It was very difficult to watch someone when they decide they are ready to die. Their body just starts shutting down piece by piece. I remember laying next to her in the bed and just talking. She did not have much of a voice but I could hear her. Mostly, I just wanted to be with her.
As I told you before my grandmother and I have the same personality and energy level. So I can see how Mabel would have gotten confused; as a ghost she would be reading energy and as my grandmother was dying her energy level was almost on non-existant but my energy level was at the highest it could be due to grieving. My theory is that Mabel stayed with energy she recognized, the only problem was it was mine not my grandmothers. So Mabel then became a resident in my home. Since she is a direct relative there would have been no reason for me to not allow her in my home. The guides told me that once she got home with me she found that I was married and had a life that did not revolve around her, in fact she had no part in my life. Not knowing her when she was alive makes it hard for me to know if she knew she was with her great granddaughter or if she thought I was my grandmother. My best guess is she thought I was my grandmother, it just makes more sense. I can only imagine she disappointment when she realized that there was a man in her daughters life something she never wanted when she was alive. So she started interferring in our marriage to cause trouble to make things the way she wanted them.
This is where #3's comments about being like my grandmother come into play. I think Mabel was telling him that I needed to be more like the person that she knew. She had to be confused about the energy because I am much more outgoing and verbal than my grandmother ever was. She also knew that I could tell she was around and knew other spirits were there as well. So there had to be confusion on her part as to why she was not getting the attention she normally would. Once the fighting started it was easier for her to get energy and get her way. She just kept on poking or stiring the pot as my mother likes to say.
So after getting this wonderful information I was also told by Ivy that I would never be allowed to have a permanent relationship with a man as long as I allowed her to stay in my home. She was too confused and mixed up to ever accept the fact that I am not her daughter. So the only way to have a life with someone would be to force her to cross over. So that is what I did, following the instruction given to me by the guides I cleansed my house and apparently channeled one of them for the incantations because when I went to record the incantations in my BOS (Book of Shadows) I could not remember them. As I went to bed that night I knew everyone was not gone so I continued to do the ritual until the full moon last night (July 18th) if that does not work then I am up shit's creek because I don't know where to go from here except to call on the coven and get help.
I am not sure if and when the others will come back all I know is that right now I am lost without all of them around me. I am not scared or worried just lonely. I am so used to having their energy that it is a comfort to me and to have them gone is just weird. So only time will tell as to who will return and they are all welcome except Mabel, but I think once she finds her daughter on the other side there won't be an issue with her returning.
And as I am writing this, I am told that she did find not only her daughter, but her husband and other family members on the other side and she is happy and staying there. There is no apology for the trouble she caused me because that is the type of person she is. But then why would she apologize for doing what she thought was best, even if it was wrong.