Thanksgiving is in one week. This is the first Thanksgiving in my 40 years of life that I will be alone. How am I feeling about this? Like Crap that’s how.
I remember Thanksgiving growing up. My mom always made dinner and the whole family came over in the afternoon. The morning was spent watching the Macy’s Day Parade. When I left Houston the first Thanksgiving was hard without my family and since I really don’t cook dinner was not that wonderful. But, I had Joshua and #3 and I did okay. After that Joshua was gone and it was just us two. This year the last thing I want to do is celebrate with anyone else. I have been invited to friends houses and co workers have invited me over. But no matter what I always feel like they are doing it out of pity. They have it in there minds that I am going to be sitting alone on Thanksgiving with a Stouffer’s TV dinner in front of me while I watch some sad lame holiday themed show. And in all honesty that is what I really planned on doing but then I decided that my friend Phyllis and I are going to celebrate the holiday together. Neither of us cook so this should be very interesting. So what does one do to get through Thanksgiving the biggest family day of the year when you are alone? Well in my quest for all things survival I went online to see what the experts offered as advice on surviving the holidays without a spouse.
One site called singleagain.com has several suggestions on how to handle the holidays.
1. Don’t make plans out of a sense of obligation. This is a big one for me. I have the need to try and make those around me happy. So I will agree to do something then spend everyday until the event dreading it. This was the first year I said no to our company dinner and had no problems when they tried to talk me into going. It is not something I have ever really enjoyed but never had the nerve to say no until now. The idea of spending the evening with my co workers and their significant others just sounded like torture.
2. Avoid unrealistic expectations from others, from yourself and from the holiday themselves. Well this is hard to do because every year I expect the holidays to be perfect, and every year when they aren’t I get disappointed. I am not sure what unrealistic expectations I would expect from others, but I guess I don’t need to expect a diamond necklace or earrings for #3 cause I don’t think that will be under the tree this year. In fact I think the only thing under the tree this year will be the floor since I don’t plan on putting one up.
3. Make sure you give thanks for the blessings you do have in your life. Okay, this requires me to let go of my “self inflicted misery” and think of what I am thankful for. I have my great son, Joshua, I have my two companions Tau & Kali, I have my great friends, I have Phyllis who is always willing to drop whatever she is doing to entertain me when I am bored, I have my family, I have a job, a roof over my head, lights, heat, air and a running car. So I guess I am doing all right.
4. Look for ways to give or do for others. Every year I spend a significant amount of time doing charity work and giving gifts to those less fortunate. This will be the first year in my adult life that I can not actually afford to buy gifts for the under priviledge and this makes me feel very guilty. But, I am going to have to live with it and when things turn around I will be able to donate then. Until then I will just try and find other ways of volunteering through the holidays to remind myself that I am not so bad off.
Okay, so these are some things I am going to work on between now and the end of the year. I have volunteered to work on Christmas and New Years Eve that will help with some of the problems. But, as you have already figured out with this blog as I find the problems and attempt to solve the problems I will write about them. Unti then Gobble Gobble.
I remember Thanksgiving growing up. My mom always made dinner and the whole family came over in the afternoon. The morning was spent watching the Macy’s Day Parade. When I left Houston the first Thanksgiving was hard without my family and since I really don’t cook dinner was not that wonderful. But, I had Joshua and #3 and I did okay. After that Joshua was gone and it was just us two. This year the last thing I want to do is celebrate with anyone else. I have been invited to friends houses and co workers have invited me over. But no matter what I always feel like they are doing it out of pity. They have it in there minds that I am going to be sitting alone on Thanksgiving with a Stouffer’s TV dinner in front of me while I watch some sad lame holiday themed show. And in all honesty that is what I really planned on doing but then I decided that my friend Phyllis and I are going to celebrate the holiday together. Neither of us cook so this should be very interesting. So what does one do to get through Thanksgiving the biggest family day of the year when you are alone? Well in my quest for all things survival I went online to see what the experts offered as advice on surviving the holidays without a spouse.
One site called singleagain.com has several suggestions on how to handle the holidays.
1. Don’t make plans out of a sense of obligation. This is a big one for me. I have the need to try and make those around me happy. So I will agree to do something then spend everyday until the event dreading it. This was the first year I said no to our company dinner and had no problems when they tried to talk me into going. It is not something I have ever really enjoyed but never had the nerve to say no until now. The idea of spending the evening with my co workers and their significant others just sounded like torture.
2. Avoid unrealistic expectations from others, from yourself and from the holiday themselves. Well this is hard to do because every year I expect the holidays to be perfect, and every year when they aren’t I get disappointed. I am not sure what unrealistic expectations I would expect from others, but I guess I don’t need to expect a diamond necklace or earrings for #3 cause I don’t think that will be under the tree this year. In fact I think the only thing under the tree this year will be the floor since I don’t plan on putting one up.
3. Make sure you give thanks for the blessings you do have in your life. Okay, this requires me to let go of my “self inflicted misery” and think of what I am thankful for. I have my great son, Joshua, I have my two companions Tau & Kali, I have my great friends, I have Phyllis who is always willing to drop whatever she is doing to entertain me when I am bored, I have my family, I have a job, a roof over my head, lights, heat, air and a running car. So I guess I am doing all right.
4. Look for ways to give or do for others. Every year I spend a significant amount of time doing charity work and giving gifts to those less fortunate. This will be the first year in my adult life that I can not actually afford to buy gifts for the under priviledge and this makes me feel very guilty. But, I am going to have to live with it and when things turn around I will be able to donate then. Until then I will just try and find other ways of volunteering through the holidays to remind myself that I am not so bad off.
Okay, so these are some things I am going to work on between now and the end of the year. I have volunteered to work on Christmas and New Years Eve that will help with some of the problems. But, as you have already figured out with this blog as I find the problems and attempt to solve the problems I will write about them. Unti then Gobble Gobble.