The year is 2007 almost 2008 and I still don't know the answer to this question. Anyone I know over the age of 40 says "No, you need to wait for the guy to ask you." Anyone I know under 40 says, "Sure, why not. If you wait for them you could be waiting a long time."
When I was a teen and dating there was never a question of who asked; you just always went out on the same day every week. But there was always that uncomfortable nervousness whenever there was a school dance and you had to wait for them to get up the nerve to ask you out.
But in today's world women want everything to be equal. Some want to be the dominate one in the relationship and other want to be submissive. I don't really want either, I want an equal relationship without a title. But that is not an answer to the big question.
I spent some time thinking about why it is so hard for us to ask someone out on a date. And the only answer I could find was that we are afraid of rejection. But, if someone says no to a date is that really rejection. You don't' know them but you are feeling that they rejected you when they said no. And what about when you go out and find out you don 't like them. Are you now guilt bound to continue seeing them because you were the one to ask them out?
This is a huge quandary for me. I am a pretty assertive person, I am by no means a shy person. But, I was raised in the south and they have very distinctive rules about what boys do and what girls do. And when I was growing up if I girl asked a boy out she was considered trashy for being forward. Of course this is the same part of the country that high fives their boys for having sex at 15 and puts the girls in a convent when they do. So you can't really go by what the south considers proper.
When I signed up for several of the online dating sites, I had no problems looking through the profiles and seeing what was available. It was like the Christmas catalog for dating. If I thought they were interesting I sent them an email. However, I did not know that in order for you to respond to their inquires you had to pay for it. And I am cheap so I did not pay for any of the online sites. But no matter I did get a few responses that were positive and they were open about what they wanted and then I realized they were a freak and stopped talking to them.
Well I did ask a guy out. Last week I asked this guy that I know and have gone out with before if he would like to spend my one day off in forever with me. And he agreed wholeheartedly, so we planned the day out and I even allowed him to opportunity to pick me up at my house. This never happens because I do not like people in my house until I know them really well and can trust them. Unfortunately he had a sudden death in the family and had to cancel our plans.
My first thought after I did this was "Oh My God! I am such a slut." I called my friend, Eddie and told him that I was a slut, skank and whore. He immediately wanted to know who I slept with. I told him "No one, I just asked a guy out on a date." Okay, he had to stop laughing at me before he could tell me that I was not a slut for asking a guy out on a date. That it is perfectly fine for a woman to ask a guy out in today's world. It did take me some time to get over the fact that I actually asked someone out and now as I am writing this I can't believe that I was so freaked by it. It was nothing big or scary and if he said no then I would have called one of my girlfriends and done something else.
So I guess I did answer my question and I did end the quandary. Yes, you can ask a guy out on a date and still be a happy woman for it. Now if we can figure out who is suppose to pay the world will truly be a happier place.